Tuesday, January 23, 2007

School Daze

While you're waiting for me to catch up on two days' worth of unfinished posts, here's some amusing tidbits from an email I received yesterday:
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.

MARIA: Here it is.

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?

CLASS: Maria.

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
_____ _____________________________________

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"


TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?


TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.


TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we
didn't have ten years ago.



TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."

MILLIE: I is...

TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."

MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."


TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry
tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father
didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand.


TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.


TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
your brother's. Did you copy his?

CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog.

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher.
I'll finish those other posts later today or tomorrow.

It's a dog's life, part 1: A Labrador retriever is expected to recover fully after swallowing 1/4 of a bottle of glue.

It's a dog's life, part 2: Meet Butch, a dog so mean that 24 residents of his neighborhood aren't getting home mail delivery at the moment.

It's a dog's life, part 3: As if pets aren't pampered enough already, someone has now come up with beer for dogs. (It's probably best not to consume it in tandem with doggie ice cream, I'd think.)


Eric Grubbs said...

Great jokes. I will say though, the last joke could have the answer of "Music Critic" too. :-)

Jazzy G said...

Re: H2O

In 2nd grade, we were taught what H2O meant. After class I made an offhand comment to a fellow classmate that H2O2 was hydrogen peroxide. To this day I still don't know why it happened but I got my @&%# chewed out by the teacher. =(