Turkey Day Is Over, So Here Come the Leftovers

All the random stuff that's been accumulating over the past few days, slathered with virtual gravy and served up as a casserole:

• From Thursday's paper: Teachers at a local school ask their kindergarten students to come up with instructions for cooking the Thanksgiving turkey; their answers are hilarious. (Sample: " Buy the turkey at a chicken store. Give money to the lady that gives the turkey to you. Put the turkey in the cage so that it will be safe. Then you cut the turkey in half and remove the feathers. Put some salt and pepper on it and fry for 31 years.")


• In case you missed it last night: R.I.P., Mr. Miyagi.


• Once upon a time, prison inmates used to while away their sentences by "bustin' rocks" or making license plates. But some prisoners in Alaska have an interesting job: butchering the meat of moose that have been struck by trains. (Key quote: ""We don't want to give the impression that we're celebrating moose being killed. But if it's going to happen, then let's not waste the meat.")


• From the "I never thought I'd see this" department: Today at the UNT football game, I saw a Chick-Fil-A cow mascot riding a Segway around the stadium concourse. He would later narrowly lose a race across the field on the trendy scooters to Scrappy, the UNT Eagle.


• This last football game of the season was my first one to attend this year. It was pretty much a lost season, though I would've felt guilty if we'd won today; that would've made me think that I was jinxing them by not being at the earlier games. At any rate, there'll be no trip to the Not New Orleans Bowl (it is being played, but in Lafayette) for us this year.


• Cool news of the week: Maynard Ferguson will be at our Sinfonia convention this summer, which means I'm likely to be able to meet him.

From the "someone needs to get a life" department: I also wanted to mention in passing that, in yesterday's paper, there was a letter-writer who thought that the new chancellor-designate of the UT System should be disqualified because he told a reporter that he enjoys The Simpsons. They didn't put the letter in the online edition, so I can't link or really even quote it, but my response to the guy would definitely be, "Don't have a cow, man." To drive my point home, maybe I'd even have the Chick-Fil-A cow run into him with a Segway, on general principle. ("You wanna have a cow over something so trivial? Here's your cow!")

When Black Friday comes, I'm gonna dig myself a hole...in my wallet (or not): Here's a quick poll question--Did you go shopping yesterday or avoid the malls like the plague? (Me, I was chillin' with the family in Austin and not driving back until late, so no shopping for me yet.)