(College) Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Their Former Classmates

One of my recent combo members is an elderly gentleman who returned to music after a 50-year hiatus from playing (before taking another hiatus this semester); I use him as a shining example of how it's possible to come back and play even if your career takes you elsewhere. His name came up in rehearsal recently...

ME (to new combo member): I'm sorry you never got to meet (older guy's name); he's quite a character. He's a 74-year-old retired pilot.
KID #1: With one leg.
ME: Correct; the gentleman is an amputee.
KID #2: With one leg? So did you say he was a 74-year-old retired pirate?
WHOLE CLASS: (*uproarious laughter*)
ME: I'm not sure that pirates retire, but...yeah, good one.
KID #3: This is going on Facebook, isn't it?
ME: Yup.

(College) Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Their Instructor's Playing

I player-coach in both of my combos this semester because of a scarcity of horns in the program, and one of the students had this to say after a tune where I'd taken a solo: "Do you remember what you played in the last two bars? It was very sleazy...and I really liked it."

Kids Continue to Say the Darnedest Things About Classical Composers

Many of my sixth-graders are preparing for their first solo and ensemble contest next month, and one had finally decided on which solo to play--a piece by Mozart.

ME: This is a good one, and it was written by a very famous composer.
KID: (Blank look)
ME: Oh, you haven't heard of Mozart? He's one of the best-known composers of all time. They even made a movie about him!
KID: I'd think that would be Beethoven with the movie.
ME: Yeah, they made a movie about Beethoven too. He's also very well-known.
KID: Wasn't he an orchestra singer or something?

("Orchestra singer"?? And I hope the Beethoven movie the kid was talking about wasn't the one with the dog...)

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Their Music

With this one, we were done with scales and ready to move on to the audition music...

ME: Ok, let's go ahead and start the étude.
KID: From the beginning?
ME: Unless you want to start from the end and play it backwards...
KID: No, I think I'm good.

Falliversary

Five years ago this evening, I took an unscheduled ride on my rear end down the basement staircase at Recycled Books in Denton after my legs slipped out from under me at the top of the stairs. If I had continued the slide to its completion, I might have had nothing more than a bruised ego...but instead, I grabbed the banister to stop myself, which resulted in one leg stopping and the other one continuing. I felt and heard a loud popping sound from the stopped leg, followed by excruciating pain. A trip to the doctor later that week revealed a ruptured quadriceps tendon and a torn meniscus.

It would take a while, but I would eventually have everything surgically repaired that June, wearing a knee brace until around September and using a cane until October. It felt like a long road to recovery with physical therapy and all that, but looking back, I was really only disabled for a total of six months.

My time of recuperation was not without its inconveniences (most notably related to driving; even when I could angle my knee enough to get behind the wheel again, I couldn't use the clutch until August), but I also gained some valuable perspective as a temporarily handicapped person, and and I learned out of necessity how to slow things down for a bit. But I also found out just how much I was able to transcend my challenges with dogged determination and hard work (I resumed teaching four days after surgery, and I hopped on a plane three weeks later to attend the Sinfonia National Convention, where I freaked out the rest of the Province Governors' Council by hobbling into the meeting room using a walker).

As I look back on the past five years, I'm grateful that I made a full recovery, with only a few visible signs of the procedure, and I'm grateful to my wonderful friends and family who helped me out along the way.

TL;DR: Today is my "falliversary." I can't believe it's been five years. TS; WM (too short, want more): Click the link under "Labels" at the bottom of this post to read the whole thing as it went by, week by week.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Extracurricular Activities

I mentioned to a middle-schooler that my next lesson was at his hated rival school, and his response was "Boo!" I reminded him that he would be uniting with kids from that school as a high-schooler next year, and besides, all the sports that held pep rallies had already completed their seasons.

KID I think there should be a pep rally for fencing!
ME: Is there even a fencing team here?
KID: No, but if there was, I'd be on it.
ME: Do you really think anyone would trust 7th and 8th graders with swords?
KID: That's why there are tryouts!

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Peopel From Earlier Times in History

The same kid who was putting 4/4 bars in minuets last week was doing it again today, and I reminded him of the pretend ramifications of doing so...

ME: Let me once again remind you that your powdered wig dancers are very upset right now...
KID: But they're dead!

(He also noted that "there may be some imitators out there, but it's not the same.")

Kids Continue to Say the Darnedest Things About Musical Terms

A beginner was getting to the point in the learning sequence where I introduce vibrato, so I was checking to see whether or not it had come up in class yet...

ME: So have you guys started doing vibrato out there?
KID: Vi-what-o? (pause) Oh, the wavy thing.

Thought fo the Day

If middle school hallway traffic consisted of cars instead of walkers, there would be about 47 wrecks within the first few minutes after the bell.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Their Instructors

The subject was people messing up when someone else was in the room...

ME: I don't really get the whole thing of people getting nervous playing in front of me, though. I mean, especially compared to some people in my profession, I'm not exactly the scariest person out there.
KID: Yeah, but you do kinda look like Chuck Norris.
ME: I do? I've never heard that before.
KID: Oh, you should.

(Do I really remind any of you of Chuck Norris? I don't see it. But if so, that's a big step up from the days when I wore glasses and didn't have a goatee, and looked like Bill Gates.)

Not Something That Happens Every Day

This may have happened before: a random stranger comes up to me in Starbucks and asks me if I have a church home.

This definitely hasn't happened before: Said stranger turns out to be a former trombonist who studied jazz at UNT before changing her major. I think we may have gained a new Metroplexity fan (and maybe one of the Maniacal 4 as well).

If Today Had Remained As Bad As It Started, I MIght Have Just Gone Back to Bed

People sometimes refer to having a bad day by saying, "I woke up on the wrong side of the bed." Well, this almost literally happened to me this morning. I have two alarm clocks placed at opposite sides of the room, at four-minute intervals. I heard the far one (six feet away on the left) go off, and I inadvertently headed for the near one (two feet away on the right), which made me slam rather violently into my dresser. No actual injuries resulted from this, save for a mildly banged-up knee (yes, the one I had operated on five years ago) and some slightly stubbed toes. (Oh, and I may have said a naughty word when it happened.)

Thankfully, the day has been pretty decent since then. But what a start...

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About HIstorical FIgures

When I was recounting part of my Wyoming trip to a student, I showed a picture of the cool town where we stayed...

ME: This town is called Cody, Wyoming; it's named after Buffalo Bill.
KID: Buffalo Bill--he was a real person?

The Network Should "Tighton" Up Its Training in the Graphics Department

Just saw a nice closed-caption fail, as it referred to the NFL team from Tennessee as the "Tightons."

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Texas Cities

One of my schools' bands is going to Corpus Christi for their trip this year, and I wanted to make sure everyone knew that this trip would not cost them a lesson...

ME: So don't worry--I'll be scheduling around the band trip at the end of the month.
KID: It's crazy! Everyone is going to Corpus Crispy this year!

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About People in Olden Times

While sightreading a minuet duet, a kid put an extra beat in a measure...

ME: Remember, a minuet is a dance in 3/4 from the powdered wig days. By putting an extra beat in that measure, you probably caused a few of your dancers to get mad at you, and maybe even fall down.
KID: Its not my fault they wore high heels!

Mechanics Say the Darnedest Things

I had an amusing moment at the tire store this morning when the guy says, "You're gonna make fun of us, but...can you bring your car into the bay? Neither of us can drive a stick."

Thought for the Day

A sleepy Monday is suddenly made better by the renewed ability to listen to baseball while driving between schools.

Meet the New Group. Not the Same As the Old Group, But Equally Amazing

One of my favorite bands of all time, the Pat Metheny Group, hasn't toured since 2005, after the release of "The Way Up," the album-length composition by Metheny and longtime collaborator Lyle Mays. Since then, Metheny has done a few other projects, including a trio with bassist Christian McBride and PMG drummer Antonio Sanchez, a solo recording with an Orchestrion (a machine that plays a variety of instruments--in this case pianos, marimbas, orchestra bells drums, cymbals, and blown bottles, among other things), and the Pat Metheny Unity Band, a collaboration with saxophone titan Chris Potter, up-and-coming young bassist Ben Williams, and Sanchez. The latter group came to the House of Blues in Dallas in the fall of 2012, and you'd better believe I was in attendance.

Though rumors of a PMG revival had floated around in recent years, a couple of things changed: According to a post on the Metheny website that I can't locate at the moment, longtime collaborator Lyle Mays is evidently enjoying semi-retirement, while bassist/producer Steve Rodby is kept busy by numerous projects. And during the Unity Band tour, the guys realized that they wanted to keep the band going, but with a different twist: The ability to play nearly anything from the PMG repertoire, along with the Orchestrion music. And thus was born the Pat Metheny Unity Group--the four members of the Unity Band, plus Italian musician Giulio Carmassi, who not only does the heavy lifting of playing piano and contributing the trademark soaring vocals, but also adds eight other instruments. The new recording, "Kin (<-->)," dropped just a few weeks ago, and it certainly evokes the classic PMG sound, enhanced by Potter's woodwind artistry and an increased role for the Orchestrion. The epic-length compositions, the cinematic qualities of the music...the classic sound was back, but in a new way.

The Group's inaugural tour brought it back to the House of Blues last night, and anticipation was running high: How deeply would they dip back into the PMG catalogue? Would we really get to hear Chris Potter soloing on The First Circle or Minuano? But more than anything, the anticipation of hearing the large-group magic once again was surely on my mind, and likely those of others as well.
The concert started--almost exactly on time--with a solo turn from Metheny on his specially-built, 42-string Pikasso guitar (a tradition that dates back to the Trio tour, if I'm remembering correctly), and then he was joined onstage by Potter, Williams and Sanchez; they proceeded to play a number of tunes from the original Unity Band recording. The sound problems that had plagued the 2012 appearance were not apparent this time--Potter came through loud and clear, which was not the case at the earlier show--and the musicianship of all four players was of course outstanding.

But something seemed out of place: Where was Carmassi? And where was the new music? As much as I was loving this, it appeared to be almost a repeat of the last show.  And then it hit me: They must be serving as an opening act for themselves! A quick review of the old material, and then they'll bring Carmassi onstage and start the new music?  OK, I could see that...

And this was precisely what took place as Metheny came to the mic for the first time: The Unity Band was "opening" for the Unity Group. Carmassi was introduced, and the group proceeded to play several numbers from the new disc, which amounted to a fairly substantial set, seeing as how the opening three tunes all clock in at over ten minutes apiece. Carmassi's vocals, the various sounds of the Orchestrion (from our vantage point this time, it was easier to see the keyboard percussion being "played" by the machine)...this was indeed the classic sound, done with new twists.

The rest of the band got some break time as Metheny played duets with each of them in turn, whether it was standards (raising the roof with "All the Things You Are" with Potter; a heartfelt but energetic take on Jobim's "insensatez" with Williams) or originals (Carmassi channeling the great Pedro Aznar on "Dream of the Return") and a wild romp with Sanchez, who got to blow things wide open on his solo turn. Yet Metheny--a ball of energy as he approaches his 60th birthday--remained onstage the entire time, moving tirelessly from one tune to the next.

After another tune from the new album, Metheny announced that there would be one tune left--which in this case meant one more tune until the encore(s) would begin. For this, they did indeed reach back into the PMG oeuvre for a masterful version of "Have You Heard" (I might have been among those who let out a whoop upon hearing the opening measures of this one).

But of course, the show wasn't over. Returning quickly for an encore, the group launched into another PMG classic, "Are You Going With Me?" The lengthy tune has a brief, simple melody (doubled wonderfully here by Potter on flute), but mostly exists as a relaxed groove that serves as a vehicle for an extended Metheny solo on his synth guitar that builds to a frenzy as the piece modulates upward several times, and this performance showed that a song that's over three decades old can still be amazingly fresh in these hands.

The band left the stage again, after a rousing ovation. So was that the end? Well, yes, for everyone except Pat, who closed the show as it had begun, alone onstage with his guitar, mashing up several of his well-known tunes (including "Minuano" and "Last Train Home") that hadn't made it into the set tonight.

So for those of us who loved the new energy of the Unity Band but missed the PMG repertoire, the Unity Group is the best of both worlds. Having Potter in the group not only recalls the great Metheny collaborations with Michael Brecker (on the latter's solo recordings and Pat's own "80-81"), but also adds a number of colors to the group (tenor and soprano saxes, bass clarinet, flute and bass flute); in addition, Potter, while already a young titan in his own right, seems to have been positively influenced by his work with Metheny, as his soloing style has evolved to fit this setting. Williams is a great new talent on bass, combining solid lines, jaw-dropping solo prowess (including some great arco moments) and a beautiful sound on the instrument. Carmassi provides the necessary elements of piano and vocals in fine fashion (and I'd love to hear him play some of his other instruments live), and Sanchez is as masterful as ever, providing the cymbalistic underpinnings that drive so much of the Metheny sound, yet given lots of freedom to crackle with energy when the music calls for it. And the leader himself, perpetually young, continues to be among not only one of the finest guitarists in jazz, but one of its finest improvisers and writers. I mentioned the cinematic nature of his large-form compositions, and so many of them have provided a major portion of the soundtrack of my own life.

I certainly hope for more from this group in the future, and you'd better believe I'll be there when they return. Check them out if the tour is coming to your area.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Sightreading

(This is almost certainly a "rerun," as I'm reasonably sure that a kid has said something like this in the past.) 

We do a lot of sightreading in lessons after Solo and Ensemble, and I always emphasize the importance of checking the key signature--but sometimes after the fact...

KID: (misses key signature notes in the first measure of the piece)
ME: What's the first rule of sightreading?
KID: Don't mess up?

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Musical Forms

I do a lot of sightreading after Solo and Ensemble, and several of the kids have been reading a piece that's written in the form of a canon...

ME: Do you know what a canon is, with only one N in the middle?
KID: It's a camera!

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Hypothetical Situations

It's Solo & Ensemble week for my 7th and 8th graders, so the emphasis is on "practicing performing"--doing run-throughs of their solos without stopping...

ME: So this time, I want you to keep going no matter what happens, just like you'll do on Saturday. The only reason you would stop on Saturday is if you stopped breathing--which would of course be sad--or unless the judge stopped breathing and you went over to administer CPR.
KID: No mouth...
ME: Totally understandable.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Cartoon Characters

I was working with a kid who hadn't gotten to play for a little while and was of course a little rusty...

ME: I know you're just getting back into the swing of things, so I'm not expecting you to have this whole assignment ready for me today.
KID: That's good, because I might have to call you the Grinch if you did.
ME: No, I'm not the Grinch. But here's a piece of trivia for you: Remember the song, "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch"? The guy who sang that is the same person who did the voice of Tony the Tiger.
KID: Who?
ME: The mascot for Frosted Flakes. He's in all the commercials. He always says, "They're GrrrrrrrEAT!"
KID: Oh, that tiger guy? I didn't know his name.

(And if you're into extreme trivia, the tiger's voice artist had a great name: Thurl Ravenscroft.)

Tourists Say the Darnedest Things?

SAN ANTONIO--I'm here for my annual trip to the TMEA (Texas Music Educators Association) convention. After I finished talking some shop with a colleague who disembarked on a lower floor, an older couple in the hotel elevator asked me, "Is there some sort of band competition going on this weekend?"

I tried to explain (in a mere three floors' worth of elevator ride) how TMEA was a lot more than just "some sort of band competition" and how it was attended by most of the music educators in Texas and even from other states.

LADY: So they do what--they practice?
ME: Yes, the all-state groups rehearse, but there are also clinics, concerts, exhibits, things like that. We probably have around 10,000 people here.
LADY: I believe that; I think we've seen most of them.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Older Musicians

When my students start learning about jazz, usually in 8th or 9th grade, we play out of a series of books by the great Lennie Niehaus. The books were written in the '60s, which is evident by its unusual cover art, which I often refer to as "psychedelic zebra stripes."

ME: But even though the cover looks funny, Niehaus is a wonderful saxophonist and composer. He's in his mid-80s and still plays, so far as I know.
KID: He still plays at that age? Wow, I wouldn't have any air left!

Contest Judges Say the Darnedest Things

Here's what one wrote on a student's comment sheet from last Saturday's Solo & Ensemble Contest: "Make it more seamless like you are verbally speaking."

I guess that makes sense; what in the world would the saxophone sound like if the kid made it like he was non-verbally speaking?

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Themselves

I was greeted in a most unusual manner by this particular beginner...

KID: Guess what--I grew two inches since the last time you saw me!
ME: That was just two weeks ago. You really grew two inches in two weeks?
KID: Yeah--I'm wearing boots!

Kids Continue to Say the Darnedest Things About Musical Terms

Many of my students are playing solos with multiple movements for the first time this year, and I usually explain the time they should allow between movements as bring similar to the time between tracks on a CD. But there is one exception...

ME: The only time you'd have to go straight into the next movement is if the music says "attacca" at the end of the previous movement.
KID: If it says what?
ME: Attacca. A-T-T-A-C-C-A.
KID: Oh! I thought you said "a taco."
ME: Yeah, because you'd definitely want to stop and eat a taco between movements. That'd be really good for the horn...

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Musical Genres

Several of my students are taking driver's ed at the moment, and the subject of the dreaded driving test with the state trooper came up; I mentioned that when I was a kid, it was rumored that the trooper was known to occasionally change your radio to a country station during the test, and of course there was nothing you could do about it...

KID: I hate country!
ME: Amen, brother.
KID: But I guess country-rock is OK; it's really just rock, with the people dressed up like cowboys.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Stores and Food

A kid I was teaching this morning has a Swatch watch similar to mine, though I pointed out that mine had the bonus of actually being purchased in Switzerland. This kid is smart enough to know the difference between Switzerland and Sweden, but he didn't have too many kind words for the most famous store from the latter place...

KID: Don't even get me started on IKEA. My mom says that IKEA is the second-worst store on the planet...behind only Walmart.

ME: I agree with you on the Walmart part...but what's wrong with IKEA?

KID: It's got two levels, and it's jam-packed, and there's only one way to go, and the people move like snails. And all the food is Swedish!

ME: What's wrong with that? It is a Swedish store, after all,

KID: It's just weird. Why couldn't they have a hamburger or something?

It's Region Band Marathon Time Again

No matter how seldom I may blog these days, I always find things to say on the night that I've attended the All-Region Bands concert every January. The region where I teach is known for having strong band programs, and the result is a fine evening of music, even though the kids have had less than 24 hours (last night and most of the school day today) to rehearse the music. And while I've blogged about Region for almost the entire eleven years in which this blog has been in existence, the post has been very similar each year, with only minor edits, but like last year, I seem to have come up with several new ideas. As always, this doesn't pretend to be a review of the concert, just whatever random thoughts popped into my head as I was listening.

• Let's get my own numbers out of the way first: There were twelve in all from my studio--four freshmen, a sophomore, four juniors and three seniors (plus one more senior who plays another instrument but studies jazz saxophone with me). The fact that four out of the ten saxes in the freshman band are my students certainly bodes well for the future, I think. I was also pleased to have my studio represented in all five of the bands tonight; it had been a year or two since that had happened.
• This concert is set up to run like clockwork--there is a 45-minute slot allotted to each band, and while a few bands started later than their posted times for the first time in a while, the whole concert still finished before its anticipated 9:45 ending. While the nearly precise schedule meant that, for "marathoners" like myself who stayed for the whole thing, there were some fairly substantial lags between bands, it worked out perfectly for the families of the students in the later bands, who may have just been there to hear their own kid's band. But the fact that five bands--one freshman band and four high school bands--can complete a concert in less than four hours, year after year, is indeed impressive.
• Thinking about the above, it occurred to me a year ago that this event really isn't one concert--it's five mini-concerts. There was a more substantial amount of turnover between bands than I recall seeing before, but that may well have made room for everyone, though there were seats to spare during each band. (I've never done the math to figure out whether anyone's auditorium could hold a cumulative audience, but I have my doubts, especially if kids stuck around to watch their friends in later bands.)
• I still like the new "wind ensemble" music better than the older "band" music (and I have yet to make my post about how film scoring saved classical music), and this was very much reinforced for me tonight. While most of the groups leaned toward modern music, one band played nearly all older compositions, and to these ears, there's a definite difference between the two. I guess the best way I can describe it is that the older stuff was written so that things would blend together into a more homogenous sound ("like a big organ" is a common description I've heard),whereas the modern stuff (whether influenced by film scoring or not, it's the best way I can describe the sound) takes advantage of a much larger timbral palette, with different sections playing off each other and combined in unusual ways, along with a greatly expanded percussion section, with an emphasis on mallets, piano, and so on. To me, the sound just pops compared to the older works.
• Speaking of modern, this was a new one for me: One of the bands played a piece written for winds and laptop! I've always been a fan of electronic sounds, and the ones used in this piece were tastefully done. The piece is called "Mothership" by Mason Bates; that's a name I'll be looking out for in the future.

  And who knew that you could make the All-Region band on laptop? How cool would it be to serve on that judging panel? But just imagine practicing the music for four months and then having your battery die during auditions. You'd have to carry extra batteries in your pocket the way we saxophonists carry spare reeds. (But seriously, the laptop appeared to be played by a director, or a very old-looking senior.)

• While the audience was rather good about not clapping between movements, there were still some concert etiquette problems, mostly related to people walking in during a performance and (only occasionally) letting auditorium doors slam. I'm not sure how well this could be enforced; a big sign telling people not to enter might work, but otherwise, it would require monitors, and I'm not sure who would do that job; directors wouldn't want to miss hearing their students play, and students themselves would be put in the awkward position of having to tell adults what to do. Not sure what the answer is here...
• The "theme" in our region for many years to get the top two directors from a major university to be the directors for the top two bands, but this year was different (though the directors of the second and third bands had former and current ties, respectively, to Texas A&M-Commerce. While all the bands did well, the top two, being made up mostly of kids who made at least Area if not State, take things to a whole new level. It's hard to believe that they're high school kids who had less than two days of rehearsal to put this together.

  (And a thought hit me tonight: Perhaps one of the reasons that these bands sound more like college bands than high school ones--besides the obvious fact that they're being conducted by college directors--is that the bands are often quite senior-laden. That means in around eight months, many of the people on stage will be playing in college bands.)

• I only have two mild bits of criticism of the concert: For the first time that I can remember, the parents, directors and private teachers of the students on stage were not asked to stand before each band's performance. In the private teaching world, we often do our jobs behind the scenes, and I have to admit I really missed having the one opportunity (besides this concert's middle school counterpart last weekend) to stand in support of my students. I was also surprised that, while the players who made Area were recognized in the program, those who made All-State were not singled out this year. To me, that's all a bit unfortunate.
• Quote of the night, from the concert coordinator/emcee, noting that few things in education can compare to the All-Region concert experience: "It's not as if, when you're named to the All-Area football team, that you get together and play a game after eight hours of practice." Well said.

Did you really make it through this whole post? Congrats; you're a marathon winner in much the same way as those of us who stayed for the entire concert!

I'm sure I'll be writing a similar post next year. Stay tuned!

Kids Contniue to Say the Darnedest Things About Classical Composers

This morning, a kid made a mistake that made what he was playing sound more like "Für Elise" than his actual solo. I hummed a few bars and the kid understood what I meant...
 
ME: So do you know who wrote "Für Elise"?
KID: I should know this...
ME: He's one of the famous ones. If I asked you to name three famous classical composers, who would they be?
KID: Beethoven, Bach, and...that other guy.
ME: That narrows it down...
KID: He was from Europe!
ME: That *really* narrows it down...
KID: Wagner? No, wait--he was Russian.

(Props to the kid for pronouncing Wagner correctly, despite the geographical gaffe...)

Kids Continue to Say the Darnedest Things About Geography

I was working with a kid on a solo published by the Neil A. Kjos company, and the kid noted the unusual name...

KID: What kind of a name is that?
ME: It sounds Scandinavian to me. Do you know where Scandinavia is?
KID: In England!

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Their Accompanists

As my students pick their solos and turn in their forms, I always check to make sure they've contacted an accompanist as well...

ME: So are you using someone on the list?
KID: No, it's someone from my church.
ME: Ahh yes, the proverbial Nice Lady from Church. (I've found that many students use the Nice Lady from Church rather than people on the list at school; said lady tends to be either really good or just awful--very few in-betweens.)
KID: Yeah, but it's a dude.
ME: That's right--you told me that. The Nice Dude from Church, then.
KID: He's nice-ish, but he has his Ph.D in music, so I hope he's not too pushy about everything.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Their Solo Pieces

One of my students is playing a Bach gavotte for his solo, and I was seeing if he could pronounce the title and composer correctly...

ME: So how do you say the name of this piece?
KID: Guh-VO-tay.
ME: Close. Guh-VAHT. And who's the composer?
KID: John Sebastian Bach.
ME: Close. But it's not John.
KID: Joanne?

Band Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Choir Kids

While working on a solo with a student, we noted that the arranger broke some eighth-note beams between phrases, and how that made it look more like choral music than instrumental music...

ME: Do you know why they don't often beam eighth notes in choir music? (The correct answer, in my experience, is that each note corresponds to a sung syllable of the text.)
KID: Because otherwise, they can't count it very well?

Kids Say the Darnedest Things at Concerts

At the end of the show tonight, a random kid I didn't recognize said hello to me in the hallway. Figuring maybe he was a friend or sibling of a student (and being an outgoing person myself), I said hello back.

KID: So are you Emily's dad?
ME: Nope.
KID: Whose father are you?
ME: Nobody's, so far as I know.

Kids Continue to Say the Darnedest Things About Musical Terms

At this point, most of my beginners have learned the term "divisi"--a divided part on a single line. One beginner noticed a divisi duet that took up four lines: his response was, "Wow, that's a long DaVinci."

(And yes, a brief discussion of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles would follow.)

Reason #247 Why I'm Glad I Don't Work for a Corporation

While out running my errands this afternoon, I decided I wanted a peppermint mocha from the Starbucks inside the Tom Thumb where I was shopping. But they couldn't make any specialty drinks, because they'd run out of milk--this, despite being in a grocery store that is full of milk that they were not allowed to buy (yes, I asked). Things would be a lot simpler if the barista were allowed to do that, but i guess that would've taken too many layers of bureaucracy to accomplish. *sigh*

I'd LIke to Thank the Academy. (No, Really.)

We're iced in here in North Texas, so I might as well blog a bit...

I've ranted about various aspects of the Grammys over the years--everything from how they award most of the jazz awards before the TV show even comes on, to ridiculous mispronunciations of artists' names on the broadcast (like "Pat METH-uh-nee" back in the day) that would never happen to pop performers, but I think they've done something right this year, and It's the first time I've seen this: Putting people like Dave Koz and Boney James in the Instrumental Pop category, saving the Instrumental Jazz ranks for, well, people who play music that most jazz musicians would consider jazz, like Gary Burton, Christian McBride and Kenny Garrett. Well done, guys! This was needed years ago.

(I'd also like to thank the voters for giving nominations to some great artists that deserve wider recognition, such as Snarky Puppy and Darcy James Argue's Secret Society.)
 

Choir Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Band Instruments

As one of my students came out of his saxophone lesson, the choir kids were already gathered in the hallway outside the practice wing...

CHOIR KID: Yeah, (band kid's name)! Way to rock that...trombone!
BAND KID: Nope. Saxophone.
CHOIR KID: I knew that. I was just checking to see if you knew.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Old Composers

This morning, I was doing solo demos in lessons, and a piece by Handel came up. The kid had heard of "Messiah" before and recognized the melody to the Hallelujah Chorus, but I didn't expect what came next...

KID (points to top of music): We have lots of those in our house.
ME (after thinking for a second): Handles?
KID: Yup.

Kids Continue to Say the Darnedest Things About Their Mistakes

A student was playing through a solo and suddenly had a measure where everything just came apart...

ME: Whoa, what happened there?
KID: I'm just looking at that as one giant measure of stupid.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things When They Use Bad Grammar

This morning, I was working with a kid who had tempo problems with a certain passage...

ME: Think about a few years from now, when you're driving. Your passengers wouldn't appreciate a sudden burst of acceleration like that.
KID: Yeah, I've droven my sister's sports car before, and you barely have to touch the accelerator.
ME: "Droven," huh? I'm guessing you haven't had English class today.
KID: Yeah, I have.

(The same kid would tell me later in the lesson that Étude #2 was the "funnest" of the three.)

Thanksgiving Greetings

Happy Thanksgiving to all! I may not have been able to post every day about the things for which I'm thankful, but I'll do it now: Family. Friends. Friends who are as close as family. And of course to my Sinfonian brothers, who are such a big part of my life, whether I've known you for my entire time in the brotherhood or whether you were just initiated in the past week.

And music. One of the finer gifts from God--a wonderful form of expression, an uplift of the spirit, and the literal soundtrack of our lives. Also, the chance to teach and play it every day and actually make a living doing so, while working with the most wonderful people (students and teachers alike) in the process.

May you and yours have a blessed day!

Nephews Say the Darnedest Things

As many of you know, I adopted a cat over the summer. His shelter name, which I kept, was Austin, which is also the place where my sister and her family reside. I was talking at dinner with my oldest nephew about the newest member of my household.

NEPHEW: You have a cat?
ME: Yeah, I got him at the end of the summer, since the last time we saw each other.
DAD: And you'll never guess what his name is...
NEPHEW (after a long pause): Kevin Jr.?

Sometimes the Teacher Says the Darnedest Things, Too

There's a spot in the slow All-Region etude this year that I, as a high-schooler myself, played incorrectly until we got in the audition room; I heard the three kids before me play it "wrong" until I realized that I myself was wrong. (I quickly fixed it and beat all of them, so I dodged a metaphorical bullet there.)

All my students know about this mistake and how strongly I feel about them not replicating it. So when a kid made that exact mistake this morning, I said "Whenever somebody plays an Eb there, Satan kicks a puppy." (The kid dissolved in laughter, saying that he'd had a rough week so far and really needed that.)

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Their Vacation Plans

As noted earlier, I always ask my students if they're going someplace exciting for the break. One kid came up with this gem...

KID: I'm going to Arkansas to go squirrel hunting!
ME: But you don't really need to go so far away to do that, do you? Couldn't you just sit out back and pick 'em off the utility wires?
KID: The ones here eat junk. We go where the tasty squirrels are.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Unfamiliar Places

Before a big holiday, I'll often ask my students if they get to go someplace exciting over the break. They will often return the inquiry, and I'll respond with the name of the Houston suburb where my parents currently reside. But those who are unfamiliar with that area don't always believe this place is real...

KID: So are you going anywhere?
ME: I am; I'm going to Sugar Land.
KID: Sugar Land--isn't that in a board game?
ME: That would be Candy Land.

Kids Continue to Say the Darnedest Things About Geography

The kid in yesterday's post with whom I was discussing Bach also knew of both Germany and Austria, and he knew that Austria and Australia are two different places.

So I complimented him on his geographical knowledge, and I mentioned how few people I taught last spring knew where Vermont was ("It's in Canada?" "It's in New Hampshire?"), hoping that he knew that correctly as well...

KID: Vermont...that's in Europe, right!
ME: Nope, it's in New England. One of the original 13 states.
KID: Well, I know where a lot of other countries are. Like Brazil. That's on the west coast of South America!
ME: It's on the east coast of South America.
KID: That's what I meant.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About the Musical Alphabet

Here's a bonus KSTDT, since I haven't posted too many this week: The subject of how there once was a note called H came up with another student, and after explaining it to him, I noted that a lot of Bach's friends and peers made musical tributes to him by using the motif Bb-A-C-B natural (B-A-C-H in old-school notation). Before i explained that, I wanted to be sure that he knew who Bach was...

ME: You've heard of Bach, right?
KID: Yeah! Johann What's-his-face Bach!

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About School Holidays

A student hadn't yet paid me for this month and wondered exactly how much month was left...

KID: Are there any more lessons in November?
ME: No, because next Thursday is...?
KID: Spring break!

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About the Audition Process

I don't usually do KSTDT posts in weekends, but here's one in honor of the auditions I helped judge earlier today:  I was telling a seventh grader about the All-District process, where the kids go in one at a time to play. This is usually less "scary" than the high school process...

ME: It's not till 9th grade that you'll have to play with everyone in the room.
KID: Then I'll move to Oklahoma.
ME: Where they probably do the exact same thing!

UPDATE: I hope the kid has the moving van ready, because I found out this week that, starting this year, the middle-schoolers  do go in all at once now.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Numbers (and Other Random Stuff)

As often happens, a rhythmic discussion touched on the idea that the counting done by musicians isn't that hard compared to other uses of numbers...

ME: We do the easy math in here. You rarely have to count past 16 to be a musician. Maybe for other things in life, like spending money.
KID: But $16 is a lot of money!
ME: Unless you want to replace your iPod. You wouldn't really want a $16 iPod...
KID: Yeah, you probably couldn't even get it to turn on!
ME: Or if you could, it'd be loaded with all these really bad heavy metal songs that you can't take off.
KID: My dad loves that stuff! He's weird.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Musical Expression

Here's a bonus KSTDT since I forgot to post a few times this week: One of them recently put an unscheduled molto ritardando in his music, and it sounded really strange.

ME: What was that all about?
KID: I just really like to make my music sound deep and thoughtful.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things When They Forget Song Titles

Recently, a beginner regaled me with the following: "We learned a new song today: Swing Low Sweet Something Something." I can only assume that, since he said "something" twice, he initially heard the title as "Swing Low Sweet Cherry Ut."

Kids Buy the Darnedest Things

A sixth-grader was very happy to find a used copy of the beginner method I use for lessons at Half Price Books for literally half price. And she was very surprised--as was I--that said book had my handwriting in it...as well as my beginner outline, my attendance policy contract, and some random flute music.

(Considering that the attendance contract has my name, address and phone number on it, I'm glad that it was sold to my student and not a stranger, though I guess I could have potentially picked up a new student in the latter case.)


UPDATE: Just a clarification: The book in question has my handwriting in it because I taught a previous student out of it, rather than it being my own former personal book. I don't think I've ever sold back a music book; even my old Grout music history text is still on the shelf (though I did ceremoniously burn the paper cover when I finished that sequence of classes).

Kids Say the Darnedest Things When They Give Their Teacher Compliments

I was explaining the point system for All-District to a seventh grader who'll be going for the first time; the maximum possible score is 200 points.

KID: That's a lot of points. I'd have to be pretty much perfect...like you.

(Everybody say "Awwwww.")

Kids Continue To Say the Darnedest Things About Their Mistakes

A middle-schooler was trying scales from memory for the first time in preparation for All-District auditions in a few weeks, and one of them wasn't quite there yet...

ME: Don't forget--there's an A-flat in that key signature.
KiD: I memorized it wronger.
ME: Well, by all means, let's make it righter.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Local Rivalries

When a student mentioned something about an unusual echo in the practice room, I noted that it was even more pronounced at another one of my schools...

ME: You should hear what it sounds like at, you know...that "other" school.
KID: Which one is that?
ME: You know--your hated rival.
KID: We hate lots of other schools.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Holiday Decorations

With people staring to play Christmas music in band, I mentioned to a student that I used to work at a Christmas store in college, and we used to get shipments of multiple German trees in giant crates, and how long it took to unpack them.

KID: And these were real trees?
ME; Yeah, they chopped up the branches and you had to glue them back together.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Their Halloween Costumes (or Lack Thereof)

One of my high schools allowed their students to come to school in (approved) costumes if they made a small donation (to charity? Scholarship fund? I'm not sure). One girl I was teaching showed up in a black shirt, flowing black skirt and a fancy white scarf, giving off sort of an "island" vibe; I wasn't sure if it was a costume or not.

ME: So what are you dressed as today?
KID: Basic White Girl.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Their Earliest Musical Days

Today, I reminded a middle-schooler that, while he was still playing out of an "elementary" method book, that didn't mean it was only intended for elementary-schoolers...

KID: We played those little recorders in elementary school...and they were cheap! They didn't even record anything!
ME: So you didn't get to record anything on it, huh?
KID: I made a little song that goes like (*hums a few notes*).
ME: Nice.
KID: But it became a big hit in Australia. The kangaroos loved it!

Kids Say the Darnedest Things When They Randomly Pass By You in the Band Hall

This morning, one walked by with the following lament: "He broke my spirit of hatred!"

That was on the heels of someone last week who came in chanting, "I'm a cow, and I don't know how."

KIds Say the Darnedest Things About Their Schools

Listening to a particularly noisy lesson coming from the practice room next door, my student asked why the rooms didn't have better soundproofing...

ME: When they build a school, they take bids to see who can pretty much build the school as inexpensively as possible without the building falling down.
KID: *laughs*
ME: Which means they forgot a few things, like putting a water fountain in the Fine Arts wing.
KID: The Fine Arts wing? Where's that?
ME: We're in it.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Theoretical Situatiions

This time, a beginner played a C instead of an A, and I was trying to help him remember the correct note for next time.

ME: How do you know it's supposed to be an A? (The answer I was looking for was "because the stem points upward.")
KID: Because it's in the A space.
ME: True, but I want you to remember it in other ways than that. After all, that little house in your backyard might be called a doghouse, but suppose I put a weasel in there?
KID: It would jump out.
ME: Why?
KID: Because there might be a dog in there.

KIds Say the Darnedest Things About Their Mistakes, and the "Mistakes" of Others

Today, one was nailing the really hard counting in the half-time etude and then proceeded to mess up a half note. I reminded him that doing such a thing was like writing a really brilliant essay and misspelling the word "cat."

KID: But there is the candy bar...
ME: I know; that's the usual excuse--the Kit Kat bar.
KID: I almost punched someone the other day for eating a Kit Kat bar wrong.
ME: Wrong?
KID: Yeah, you know--how it's supposed to be broken into four parts?
ME: Right, and so...
KID: He ate it sideways!
ME: And that bothered you?
KID: Yes, it did!

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Totally Random Stuff

Not sure how this came up, but the kid in question is kind of a chatterbox...

KID: My brother has a duck call! It's from the Duck Dynasty people. He uses it all the time. I wish I could use it!
ME: But then you'd have ducks in the house. Better have some crackers...
KID: Bread and crackers for the ducks; we have both of those at our house...Do you know if ducks like Wheat Thins?
ME: Ha--no clue.
KID: And if not, all the better, because I love Wheat Thins!

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Patriotic Songs

One way I teach the importance of rhythm in music is by playing a familiar song with no rhythmic change at all, such as The Star-Spangled Banner all in quarter notes. I did that for a student this morning and awaited her reaction...

ME: So did you recognize that?
KID: Yes, but I forgot the name! Oh...it's...it's that song where you go up to the flag!

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Household Products

I was teaching a kid who forgot his ligature two weeks in a row, and both times, I had a spare one to loan him. But I pointed out that a while back, my own ligature broke, and the one with my jazz mouthpiece didn't fit my classical mouthpiece. Faced with a full day of teaching at the house and no time to run an errand, I improvised by making a temporary ligature out of duct tape...

KID: So you were in a sticky predicament.
ME: I see what you did there.

Kids WEAR the Darnedest Things

I just saw a middle schooler wearing a T-shirt with "FML" in big letters...and below that, in much smaller letters, was the explanation: Flute Marching Line.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Classic Literature

While working with a student on the jazz ballad for tonight's region tryouts, I tried to put the traditional idea in his head of the ballad being the love song...

ME: So just think of how you'd romance your true love when playing this--standing with your horn below the balcony, sort of like in Romeo and Juliet.
KID: You wanna know my favorite part of Romeo and Juliet? The part where they drink the poison!
ME: You're a true romantic, I see...

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About the Calendar

Here's a bonus KSTDT that I forgot to post last week:  As this one was initialing the attendance log, I was also hoping he'd brought his first-of-the-month payment...

ME: So did you bring me something today?
KID: *looks confused*
ME: Your payment?
KID: It's October already?
ME: For three days now! You haven't been writing "September 33rd" on your papers today, have you?

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About History

I can't remember how the subject of Albert Einstein came up, but I pointed out that really smart people weren't necessarily amazing at all aspects of life...

ME: According to legend, Einstein couldn't even tie his own shoelaces.
KID: I didn't know they even had shoelaces back then!
ME: Einstein just lived this past century; it's not like he was wearing those big Roman sandals or anything...
KID (does old man voice): Back in my day, we didn't even have shoelaces!

Kids Say the Darnedest Things When They Make Mistakes

After a kid accidentally left a note completely out of a measure in the music he was working on today, he exclaimed, "Oh, my weirdness!"

I told him that was the second-funniest thing I'd ever heard a kid say in that situation. The funniest? A Southern belle-type girl who always used to say "Oh, my land!" after her mistakes...which eventually devolved into "Oh, Mylanta!" (Maybe her mistakes were giving her digestive distress?)

Principals Say the Darnedest Things

My district is now requiring students to wear ID badges on lanyards at all times while at school, and one of the schools, after a long roll-out, is going live with the process on Monday. In anticipation of the event, an assistant principal made a very (unintentionally?) amusing announcement this morning.

PRINCIPAL: So you guys get on Twitter, or whatever it is you do, and remind yourselves to wear your IDs starting on Monday.

(This made both the kid I was teaching and myself laugh uproariously. But at least the principal didn't call it "the Twitter," like someone much older and less internet-savvy would have done.)

KID: I don't even have a Twitter! I have enough trouble with Facebook and Instagram...

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Old Cliché Phrases

ME: What's up with all the missing slurs all of a sudden? You're tonguing everything under the sun today.
KID: Maybe I even tongued the sun!
ME: Now that would be painful...

Cashiers Say the Darnedest Things

I had to make a late-night run for some drain cleaner last night, and the cashier was in a jovial mood...

CASHIER: Alright--that'll be 464 pennies.
ME: I bet you'd love it if I actually paid you that way.
CASHIER: Ah, I wouldn't care; I get paid by the minute, and I'd have to count each of 'em slowly and carefully.

He then regaled me with a long-but-funny story about an old buddy of his who ended up with a $4000-something tax bill, and--after multiple trips to the bank over a week or so--paid his accountant the entire amount in pennies. The guy, the cashier and a few other friends evidently had a grand old time sitting around, drinking beer and unrolling the pennies to stuff them in more than a few gunnysacks.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Musical Notation

One of the Region etudes has a breath mark after bar one, mostly because there isn't another logical place to breathe until bar five. But a kid this morning just blew right through that breath mark as if it weren't there...

ME: So why do you think the composer put a breath there?
KID: Because there was a bug on the page?

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Musical Markings

A middle-schooler and I were discussing the use of the accent mark in music...

ME: What happens when you play a note with an accent?

KID: You start speaking French?

Kids Frequently Say the Darnedest Things About Rhythmic Values

This semester, nearly all my students (middle school, high school and college--everyone except beginners) have some sort of double-dotted quarter note rhythm in their music. I've had multiple occurrences of this scenario:

ME: So the double-dotted quarter note is like a quarter note tied to an eighth note, tied to a sixteenth note. How much is all of that worth?
KID: 1.75.

(While counting in decimals would solve the argument of the "and" vs. "te" subdivisions once and for all, it would be kind of annoying in regular usage. Imagine a director saying, "OK, everyone come in on the .5 of beat four.")

Where Were You...

...when you heard the news, a dozen years ago? This entry from 2004 bears repeating:

I was on a break from teaching, like every Tuesday, and actually spent the time of the attacks in blissful ignorance at the Rockwall Starbucks. I had CD's on in my car instead of the radio, so I totally missed the news on both the way over and the way back. I did hear someone listening to a radio on the patio and they were talking about "the second plane," but it didn't register with me at all. (It amazed me later that nobody walked inside and told us about it.)

When I got back to the school, the flute teacher stopped me in the hallway and asked me if all my students were being pulled out of school (evidently hers were). I said, "No, why?" and she told me what had happened. I spent the rest of the day like everyone else, in shocked, depressed amazement, catching the news when I could. There I was, not even two weeks into being a homeowner, and the world suddenly felt so different. It added to the pall cast over everything when I found out that the sister of a girl I graduated from high school with was on Flight 93, the one that crashed in a field in Pennsylvania.

The whole thing felt so surreal; how could anyone hate us that much? The concept of the suicide hijacking was unprecedented as well (before that, hijackers just usually wanted to go to Cuba, and that's why airline personnel were taught to cooperate with them rather than try to subdue them).

I know there are still terrorist plots being hatched, and people capable of carrying them out...but I hope nothing like this ever happens on U.S. soil again. Or anywhere, for that matter.

As the school where i was teaching this morning held its traditional 9/11 moment of silence during the late 8:00 hour, it struck me that the sixth grader I was teaching at the time was still a year away from being born on that fateful day in '01.

It's been a long time now...but may we never forget.

Is Our Schools Learning?

I saw this the other day on the way to church, and it was too funny not to share in as many places as possible: 

As I said on Facebook, I hope that the "teachel" is a better speller (or perhaps a better "spellel") than the person who's in charge of this sign.

It's a New School Year, and Kids Are Already Saying the Darnedest Things

This morning, a beginner was looking ahead in the book...

KID: So when I get to the duet down there, how am I gonna do that? Will I be playing along with a recording or something?

ME: *scratches goatee* Hmm...I wonder where in the world we might find another person who plays saxophone, who could do the other part...

(The kid figured it out at that point.)

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Rhythmic Values

One of the All-Region etudes has quarter notes tied to sixteenth notes, and we were trying to establish the value of that rhythm...

ME: So how much is a quarter note worth?
KID: One.
ME: Right. And how about a sixteenth?
KID: One-sixteenth.
ME: One sixteenth of a...?
KID: One sixteenth of a beat!

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Their Band Directors

Overheard at a school today, from one director to another: "[Kid] thinks you're 58 years old because you have gray hair. She says if you have gray hair, you must be 58 and nearing the end of your life."

(I bet that director hopes that kid will go prematurely gray by age 25, just because of karma )

Kids Continue to Say the Darnedest Things About Musical Terms

We're still having fun with the cadenza in the slow All-Region etude...

ME: So above this big string of notes is the abbreviation "Cad."; what does that stand for.
KID: Coda?

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Patriotic Songs

A middle-schooler was playing all the right notes, but some wrong rhythms, and despite several tries, he couldn't identify rhythm as the problem he was having. I did a little exercise to show him the importance of rhythm in music...

ME: (plays "The Star-Spangled Banner" entirely in quarter notes) Now, what song was that?
KID: No clue.
ME: Probably because it was all one rhythm. Now, here it is with the proper rhythm (plays song properly). Do you recognize it now?
KID: Yeah! It's the State of Texas song!

Kids Say the Darnedest Things When They're Making Puns Out of Instrument Names

Today, I saw a student who had been out for a few weeks..

KID: So what's new with you?
ME: Well, you haven't been here since before the Fourth of July, so the newest thing with me is my new bari out there.
KID: Well, I'm bari glad to see you!
ME: You do know what a bari is, right?
KID: Yeah--that thing you pick off a tree...and sometimes they're poisoned if you're not careful.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Note Values

The slow All-Region sax etude for high-schoolers this year starts with a double-dotted quarter note, so there's been a lot of (relatively easy) math this week while introducing it.

ME: So if the first dot adds half the value of the note, and the second dot adds half the value of the first dot, how long will the whole thing be?
KID: Almost two.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Musical Terms

This year's All-Region music for saxophones has a cadenza in one of the etudes, and the sight of all those tiny notes in a row alarmed one student upon first viewing them...

ME: So let me explain what that is. Do you see the abbreviation "Cad." above that passage? What does that stand for?
KID: *thinks for a second* Cadenza!
ME: That's right! And what does cadenza mean?
KID (enthusiastically): I don't know!

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Dynamic Markings on Their Music

In my camp band this morning, I pointed out a place where the music got softer...

ME: So, please notice that this section suddenly goes to "mf." What does "mf" stand for?
KID: Morte forte!

Kids Know the Darnedest Things

This was from an incoming sixth-grader this morning...

ME (after a note struggled to come out): That one had a little trouble.
KID: Yeah, I need to ret my weed. (Laughs) Did you hear that? I said "ret my weed." I spoonerized!
ME: Wait...you know what a spoonerism is?
KID: Of course! Because they're so much fun!

Kids Say the Darnedest Things When Learning Instrument Care

During the very first lesson, I was advising a beginner about the potential downside of using a Reedgard...

ME: If you don't dry the reed off completely, it might mildew at the point of contact.
KID: (makes face)
ME: Do you know what mildew is?
KID: Gross stuff.

Kids Continue to Say the Darnedest Things About Note Values

This time, a new beginner was being re-introduced to half notes, which he'd already encountered when playing the recorder in elementary music class.

ME: So how much is a half note worth?
KID: (hesitates) Half?
ME: Half of what?
KID: A note?

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Note Values

A middle-schooler missed an eighth rest, and we were discussing it...

ME: So how much is an eighth rest worth?
KID: I don't remember.
ME: OK...how much is an eighth *note* worth?
KID: One-eighth.
ME: One-eighth of what?
KID: Eight?

Kids Say the Darnedest Things When They're Running Late

One of them explained his lateness as follows: "I suppose I could blame my tardiness on our pet mongoose...except we haven't gotten one yet. And I don't exactly know what a mongoose is."

 After that last sentence, I showed him this. And while he agreed that a mongoose would be a pretty unusual pet, he did note that it was "kinda cute."

Burlington, Part IV: The Part Where I Rave About Dave

BURLINGTON--Some people describe trumpeter Dave Douglas' music as "out." (Those who aren't jazz musicians and aren't familiar with that usage of the word might call it "avant-garde.") And I noted long ago in these pages that the older I get, the "outer" I like, but tonight's concert by Douglas and his quintet at the intimate basement venue known as the FlynnSpace was not only far from "out" to these ears, but it was some of the most engaging music I've heard for this entire long weekend.

Douglas has long been known for his prolific output (and his music now has a ready home, since he started running his own record label a while back) For a while, this music was spread over a rather large number of bands, but lately, he's been concentrating on his quintet, consisting of Matt Mitchell (piano), Jon Irabagon (tenor sax), Linda Oh (bass, with Chris Tordini subbing for her tonight) and Rudy Royston (drums). This group recorded two distinct albums in two days during April of last year: Be Still, a reimagination of traditional hymns and folk songs (with special guest vocalist Aoife O’Donovan, who didn't appear tonight), and Time Travel, an all-instrumental set of contemporary acoustic tunes. These two albums provided the material for tonight's show.

Having been familiar with Douglas' music since a friend turned me onto him about seven years ago, there certainly were familiar elements to be heard. For all this talk of "out," a typical Douglas melody is fairly, well, melodic--even if the notes sometimes take interesting turns or land in unexpected places relative to the chords. The solo work--mostly by Douglas, Irabagon and Mitchell, was both virtuosic and heartfelt, and the mood was appropriately playful or reverent, depending on whether the Time Travel or Be Still music was being played at the moment. Tordini, while not a regular member of the group, provided a solid foundation for things and added a couple of enjoyable, energetic solos, and Royston was full of energy for the entire show.

To this sax player's ears, the really big "find" of the evening was saxophonist Arabagon. Given that the tenor chair in previous Douglas groups has been held by such luminaries as Chris Potter and Donny McCaslin, it's a given that Irabagon is no slouch, and the onetime Chicagoan indeed boasts an impressive resume. He provides not only tasty licks, dazzling technique and clever use of harmonics, but also a warm, enjoyable sound and a definite sense of fun--all of which make him a perfect foil for Douglas. This is definitely someone to watch in the future.

Despite this being my fifth trip to the Burlington Discover Jazz Festival, tonight was my first time to ever see a concert in the smaller FlynnSpace (though I'd seen many of the "Meet the Artist" sessions there, including one with Douglas this afternoon). While I'd like to think he could have drawn well upstairs in the main theatre, it was great to see Douglas and company up close and personal in this club-like setting. The sound was great, and it was easy to see, despite being in the back section of chairs (Note to self: show up more than fifteen minutes early for any future shows here).

So, there's still that question of how "out" this all is, and I believe (as I said in the earlier post linked above, and paraphrasing Dewey Redman) that outness is in the ear of the behearer. To me, the only thing even remotely avant-garde about tonight might have been when Douglas and Irabagon engaged in some collective soloing, but the interplay fit so well together that I didn't even bat an eye (or an ear). And while some of the people who were with us tonight thought it was a little too out for their tastes...well, I might not have liked it at age 19 either. To those folks I would say this: Keep studying the music, and your ears might open up to this a little more. From my standpoint, it was one of the emotional highlights of the four days of headliner concerts here so far: Beautiful writing and beautiful musicianship. I can't wait to see this group again.  

Another voice: Once again, I invite you to read another take on this concert, by Brent Hallenbeck of the Burlington Free Press. We may occasionally say similar things, but I never read his take before posting mine.

Four Really Good MFs Were Playin' Tunes at the Flynn Tonight

BURLINGTON--Among the slew of tenor players in the jazz world, it might be easy to overlook Branford Marsalis, or at least take him for granted. He's not as flashy as a Joshua Redman or Chris Potter, and he spent his early years in the shadow of his younger but slightly better-known brother Wynton. But over all this time, he's been building up a solid body of work, which was on display tonight at the Flynn Center.

Though Marsalis has worked with groups of a variety of sizes over the years, it's his quartet (Joey Calderazzo, piano; Eric Revis, bass; and "new" drummer Justin Faulkner, who's been with the group for three years but only one recording) that serves as his primary vehicle. During a pre-concert interview/Q&A session with noted jazz writer Bob Blumenthal, he stated that the reason for doing this was similar to why so many of the great classical composers kept returning to writing for the string quartet: "Because it works." And with the longevity of this working group, they've been able to build up a solid repertoire of original compositions and the occasional standard that encompass a variety of styles.

After making his name as mostly a tenor player, Marsalis has spent quite a bit of time on soprano sax lately, even recording a classical album on the little horn a while back. And while his soprano work often does have a classical bent to it, his tone quality on it is full and beautiful (and, yes, in tune), and the improvisation never strays far from jazz.

The group's newest recording, released last August, is called Four MFs Playin' Tunes, and that's certainly both cheeky and understated, as these are no ordinary MFs. The presence of Calderazzo alone adds a major element to this group, as it becomes a powerful trio in its own right when the leader isn't soloing; the pianist also adds many fine compositions to the mix, including tonight's opener, "The Mighty Sword," which also serves as the lead track for the newest album. Revis provides a solid foundation throughout, especially on the ostinato bass lines that underpin so many of the group's tunes, and he adds tasty solos when called for. New drummer Faulkner, younger than his bandmates, provided energy and creativity throughout. In the pre-concert session with Blumenthal, Marsalis stated what he believes to be the problem with many jazz musicians these days: The tendency to go for technique at the expense of communication and emotional connection with the listener. And while some of his tunes may be a bit angular and less-than-singable by the average Joe on the street, there is certainly a lot to be enjoyed here by jazz fans who aren't working musicians themselves. While the programming may have been unusual--the group closed with the ballad "As Summer Into Autumn Slips" (also from the new album), after playing what Marsalis dubbed the "big song" (did anyone get a title on that?)--there was a lot to be enjoyed tonight. And the encore, "Tiger Rag" (yes, that one) closed the evening in rollicking fashion. He may get taken for granted a lot, but I for one am glad that Branford is around; he's making great contributions to the music that can't be ignored. Another voice:,/b> Brent Hallenbeck of the Burlington Free Press has his take on the concert.

Don't Worry...a major artist can do an entire show without performing his signature song, and the audience will still Be Happy about it.

BURLINGTON--Day Two of the Burlington Discover Jazz Festival is in the books, and tonight was definitely something special, as the amazing, beyond-category vocal master Bobby McFerrin brought his new "spirityouall" show to the Flynn Center.

The new recording of the same name finds McFerrin presenting fresh interpretations of a fine collection of great American spiritual numbers in a variety of styles. He was inspired by the work of his father, the noted operatic baritone Robert McFerrin, Sr., and this album shares three songs with one recorded by the elder McFerrin in the late 1950s...but the results are all Bobby, doing the things he's known for best: Vocal percussion, dazzling impersonations of instruments, and seamless transition from deep bass notes to extreme falsetto within a note or two.

Though McFerrin is best known for his solo vocal endeavors (and with a talent like his, a band is not even necessary in most cases), he is backed by a full band on this new effort, and what a band it is: Keyboardist/accordionist Gil Goldstein (who's worked with pretty much everybody who's anybody in the jazz world), multi-instrumentalist David Mansfield (who counts guitar, violin and lap steel among his arsenal), guitarist Armand Hirsch, bassist Scott Colley (featured on several of the last Michael Brecker tours I saw) and drummer/background vocalist/guitarist Louis Cato (whose singing blended so well with the leader that some of us thought he was McFerrin's son). The band provided the perfect accompaniment to the dazzling vocals as the styles changed between gospel, country, blues, and--of course--jazz.

It's hard to decide on a highlight of the concert, because the whole thing was a highlight from start to finish (running nearly two hours without an intermission, and only the shortest break before an encore that was well-earned in this case. Every tune was a true gem, no matter what the style (and it wasn't uncommon for something to take a stylistic turn mid-song). Part of the charm of it all was that it was never certain when McFerrin would take the place of any instrument that was playing, and the solos and melodies were simply all over the place, yet delightfully so.

He was also engaging with the audience, inviting people to come up to the mic and contribute a verse of "He's Got the Whole World In His Hands" and even taking requests for a while; whether he truly knew the song or not, he and the band would give it a try. (And thankfully, requests for "Don't Worry, Be Happy," shouted from near where we were sitting in the balcony, were either unheard or ignored.)

On the page for this album on McFerrin's website, he says the following: "What I want everyone to experience at the end of my concerts is . . . .this sense of rejoicing. I don’t want the audience to be blown away by what I do, I want them to have this sense of real joy, from the depths of their being. Then you open up a place where grace can come in.” I think it's safe to say that tonight's audience left with a sense of joy and were blown away by what you did, Bobby. So glad you could grace us with your presence tonight.

Another voice: Arts writer Brent Hallenbeck of the Burlington Free Press also has a review of the concert.