Kids and Teachers Say the Darnedest Things As Tryouts Approach

This weekend is All-District for my seventh- and eighth-graders, so it's dry run time...

ME: We need to run through all your scales and the two etudes, and then we'll have a mock audition.
KID: What does that mean?
ME: Thar means that you audition, and then I mock you.
KID: (gives me a sad look until he realizes I'm not serious)

Later on, the same kid missed an easy key signature note and realized it fairly quickly...

ME: Don't stop and hang your head in shame; we have a lot to do today.
KID: Is this the mocking part?
ME: Only if you miss easy key signatures like that.