Wonton Food Inc. produces millions of fortune cookies each day. That makes it the fortune cookie king of America, and therefore, “soon to be showered with good luck” and “destined for many exciting adventures!”Heh--you've gotta love when something as simple as a fortune cookie gets covered up in corporate gobbledygook.
[...](S)ome of the classic fortunes might soon get tossed like a Chinese to-go box from deep in the fridge. Wonton has decided to get more contemporary with its cookie messages, including one that says, “Time to get some professional help.”
Wonton’s marketing coordinator explained the new fortunes in a story in The New York Times.
“We wanted our fortune cookies to be a little more value-added,” he said.
But one thing that I've noticed recently is that what's inside the cookie rarely rises to the level of a fortune; they really should be called Statement Cookies most of the time. Using a random sampling method known as "cleaning out my wallet," I discovered that the statements far outnumbered the fortunes:
- Love is like war; easy to begin but hard to stop.
- Good food brings good health and longevity.
- Getting together with friends brings new adventures.
- A quiet evening with friends is the best tonic for a long day. (Hmm, I'm starting to sense a theme here.)
- Keep true to the dreams of your youth.
- Your example will inspire others.
- Next week, green will be a lucky color for you.
Your assignment for this week, should you choose to accept it: Bring in the most statement-oriented fortune you can find, and put it in the comments. Also, read the whole article and try to come up with some "value-added" fortunes of your own.
Better late than never: An Ohio couple got their wedding photos in the mail recently, just in time for their 27th anniversary.