Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Their Halloween Costumes (or Lack Thereof)

One of my high schools allowed their students to come to school in (approved) costumes if they made a small donation (to charity? Scholarship fund? I'm not sure). One girl I was teaching showed up in a black shirt, flowing black skirt and a fancy white scarf, giving off sort of an "island" vibe; I wasn't sure if it was a costume or not.

ME: So what are you dressed as today?
KID: Basic White Girl.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Their Earliest Musical Days

Today, I reminded a middle-schooler that, while he was still playing out of an "elementary" method book, that didn't mean it was only intended for elementary-schoolers...

KID: We played those little recorders in elementary school...and they were cheap! They didn't even record anything!
ME: So you didn't get to record anything on it, huh?
KID: I made a little song that goes like (*hums a few notes*).
ME: Nice.
KID: But it became a big hit in Australia. The kangaroos loved it!

Kids Say the Darnedest Things When They Randomly Pass By You in the Band Hall

This morning, one walked by with the following lament: "He broke my spirit of hatred!"

That was on the heels of someone last week who came in chanting, "I'm a cow, and I don't know how."

KIds Say the Darnedest Things About Their Schools

Listening to a particularly noisy lesson coming from the practice room next door, my student asked why the rooms didn't have better soundproofing...

ME: When they build a school, they take bids to see who can pretty much build the school as inexpensively as possible without the building falling down.
KID: *laughs*
ME: Which means they forgot a few things, like putting a water fountain in the Fine Arts wing.
KID: The Fine Arts wing? Where's that?
ME: We're in it.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Theoretical Situatiions

This time, a beginner played a C instead of an A, and I was trying to help him remember the correct note for next time.

ME: How do you know it's supposed to be an A? (The answer I was looking for was "because the stem points upward.")
KID: Because it's in the A space.
ME: True, but I want you to remember it in other ways than that. After all, that little house in your backyard might be called a doghouse, but suppose I put a weasel in there?
KID: It would jump out.
ME: Why?
KID: Because there might be a dog in there.

KIds Say the Darnedest Things About Their Mistakes, and the "Mistakes" of Others

Today, one was nailing the really hard counting in the half-time etude and then proceeded to mess up a half note. I reminded him that doing such a thing was like writing a really brilliant essay and misspelling the word "cat."

KID: But there is the candy bar...
ME: I know; that's the usual excuse--the Kit Kat bar.
KID: I almost punched someone the other day for eating a Kit Kat bar wrong.
ME: Wrong?
KID: Yeah, you know--how it's supposed to be broken into four parts?
ME: Right, and so...
KID: He ate it sideways!
ME: And that bothered you?
KID: Yes, it did!

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Totally Random Stuff

Not sure how this came up, but the kid in question is kind of a chatterbox...

KID: My brother has a duck call! It's from the Duck Dynasty people. He uses it all the time. I wish I could use it!
ME: But then you'd have ducks in the house. Better have some crackers...
KID: Bread and crackers for the ducks; we have both of those at our house...Do you know if ducks like Wheat Thins?
ME: Ha--no clue.
KID: And if not, all the better, because I love Wheat Thins!

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Patriotic Songs

One way I teach the importance of rhythm in music is by playing a familiar song with no rhythmic change at all, such as The Star-Spangled Banner all in quarter notes. I did that for a student this morning and awaited her reaction...

ME: So did you recognize that?
KID: Yes, but I forgot the name! Oh...it's...it's that song where you go up to the flag!

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Household Products

I was teaching a kid who forgot his ligature two weeks in a row, and both times, I had a spare one to loan him. But I pointed out that a while back, my own ligature broke, and the one with my jazz mouthpiece didn't fit my classical mouthpiece. Faced with a full day of teaching at the house and no time to run an errand, I improvised by making a temporary ligature out of duct tape...

KID: So you were in a sticky predicament.
ME: I see what you did there.

Kids WEAR the Darnedest Things

I just saw a middle schooler wearing a T-shirt with "FML" in big letters...and below that, in much smaller letters, was the explanation: Flute Marching Line.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Classic Literature

While working with a student on the jazz ballad for tonight's region tryouts, I tried to put the traditional idea in his head of the ballad being the love song...

ME: So just think of how you'd romance your true love when playing this--standing with your horn below the balcony, sort of like in Romeo and Juliet.
KID: You wanna know my favorite part of Romeo and Juliet? The part where they drink the poison!
ME: You're a true romantic, I see...

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About the Calendar

Here's a bonus KSTDT that I forgot to post last week:  As this one was initialing the attendance log, I was also hoping he'd brought his first-of-the-month payment...

ME: So did you bring me something today?
KID: *looks confused*
ME: Your payment?
KID: It's October already?
ME: For three days now! You haven't been writing "September 33rd" on your papers today, have you?

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About History

I can't remember how the subject of Albert Einstein came up, but I pointed out that really smart people weren't necessarily amazing at all aspects of life...

ME: According to legend, Einstein couldn't even tie his own shoelaces.
KID: I didn't know they even had shoelaces back then!
ME: Einstein just lived this past century; it's not like he was wearing those big Roman sandals or anything...
KID (does old man voice): Back in my day, we didn't even have shoelaces!

Kids Say the Darnedest Things When They Make Mistakes

After a kid accidentally left a note completely out of a measure in the music he was working on today, he exclaimed, "Oh, my weirdness!"

I told him that was the second-funniest thing I'd ever heard a kid say in that situation. The funniest? A Southern belle-type girl who always used to say "Oh, my land!" after her mistakes...which eventually devolved into "Oh, Mylanta!" (Maybe her mistakes were giving her digestive distress?)

Principals Say the Darnedest Things

My district is now requiring students to wear ID badges on lanyards at all times while at school, and one of the schools, after a long roll-out, is going live with the process on Monday. In anticipation of the event, an assistant principal made a very (unintentionally?) amusing announcement this morning.

PRINCIPAL: So you guys get on Twitter, or whatever it is you do, and remind yourselves to wear your IDs starting on Monday.

(This made both the kid I was teaching and myself laugh uproariously. But at least the principal didn't call it "the Twitter," like someone much older and less internet-savvy would have done.)

KID: I don't even have a Twitter! I have enough trouble with Facebook and Instagram...

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Old Cliché Phrases

ME: What's up with all the missing slurs all of a sudden? You're tonguing everything under the sun today.
KID: Maybe I even tongued the sun!
ME: Now that would be painful...

Cashiers Say the Darnedest Things

I had to make a late-night run for some drain cleaner last night, and the cashier was in a jovial mood...

CASHIER: Alright--that'll be 464 pennies.
ME: I bet you'd love it if I actually paid you that way.
CASHIER: Ah, I wouldn't care; I get paid by the minute, and I'd have to count each of 'em slowly and carefully.

He then regaled me with a long-but-funny story about an old buddy of his who ended up with a $4000-something tax bill, and--after multiple trips to the bank over a week or so--paid his accountant the entire amount in pennies. The guy, the cashier and a few other friends evidently had a grand old time sitting around, drinking beer and unrolling the pennies to stuff them in more than a few gunnysacks.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Musical Notation

One of the Region etudes has a breath mark after bar one, mostly because there isn't another logical place to breathe until bar five. But a kid this morning just blew right through that breath mark as if it weren't there...

ME: So why do you think the composer put a breath there?
KID: Because there was a bug on the page?

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Musical Markings

A middle-schooler and I were discussing the use of the accent mark in music...

ME: What happens when you play a note with an accent?

KID: You start speaking French?

Kids Frequently Say the Darnedest Things About Rhythmic Values

This semester, nearly all my students (middle school, high school and college--everyone except beginners) have some sort of double-dotted quarter note rhythm in their music. I've had multiple occurrences of this scenario:

ME: So the double-dotted quarter note is like a quarter note tied to an eighth note, tied to a sixteenth note. How much is all of that worth?
KID: 1.75.

(While counting in decimals would solve the argument of the "and" vs. "te" subdivisions once and for all, it would be kind of annoying in regular usage. Imagine a director saying, "OK, everyone come in on the .5 of beat four.")