Adults Say the Darnedest Things

As I was teaching lessons at the home studio tonight, the doorbell rang a few minutes before the next kid usually arrives. I had the kid who was finishing up his lessons continue to play as I answered the door.

But it wasn't the next kid; it was a lady that I had never seen before.

ME: Hi, can I help you?
LADY: Oh, that's just beautiful! What is that sound?
ME: It's a saxophone.
LADY: That's so nice. I'm just in the neighborhood seeing if you'd like to have your rugs shampooed. (Hesitates a second, still listening to saxophone.) And that's your doorbell? It's still going?
ME: No ma'am, that's someone playing saxophone, and I'm teaching him a lesson right now.
LADY (looks embarrassed): Oh, I see. But that sound really is beautiful!

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Jazz Standards

I had mentioned something about how undesirable it is to play robotically, and this kid was trying to reference the video of the robot playing Giant Steps...

KID: I was looking for John Coltrane on YouTube...what was that song called, Small Steps?

Kids Still Say the Darnedest Things About Geography

The kids are on a roll today: We were discussing slow tempos today, and I mentioned that one of the slowest ones, Grave, was usually reserved for funeral marches...

KID: Oh, like in Louisiana, right?
ME: You mean like a New Orleans jazz funeral?
KID: Yeah, like they do in New Orleans and Louisiana.
ME: New Orleans is in Louisiana.
KID: Oh man, I couldn't remember; I thought maybe New Orleans was in Florida.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Physical Ailments

Overheard in the hallway this morning on a cold day: "I'm gonna get no-monia from workin' out." (As one of my Facebook commenters pointed out, that's better than having some-monia.)

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Themselves

This morning, one of them was happy about an upcoming birthday...

KID: I'm so happy! Next week is my birthday!
ME: Oh, you'll be 16, right? The drivers license birthday!
KID: (gives sad look)
ME: Oh, you haven't completed driver's ed yet. Well, you can still go get a job!
KID: I don't know. I don't think I could get like a fast food or server job, because I don't like people...

Adults Say the Darnedest Things, Especially When Kids Set Them Up For It So Well

At the beginning of a lesson...

KID: So what are we going to do today?
ME: Same thing we do every day, Pinky--try and take over the world!

Good Grammys/Bad Grammys

Good Grammys: Having Chick Corea, Stanley Clarke and Kenny Garrett doing a Brubeck tribute. Bad Grammys: Having that tribute last about 2.5 seconds.

Good Grammys: Their support of music education and the announcement of an outstanding music educator recognition award starting next year. Bad Grammys: Of all the musicians in the "in memoriam" montage, the studio audience applauds the loudest for MCA of the Beastie Boys. (Not slamming his skills in the genre, but more applause than Brubeck or Andy Griffith?)

So Your Kid Wants to Be a Music Major...

Perhaps you should let him. It is interesting how supportive some parents can be in terms of their kids' participation in band, orchestra or choir, right up until the point when one of them decides to pursue it as a career...

A weird thing about a lot of parents is that they beam and glow when their kids get solos in orchestra, band and choir in high school, but they freak out when the same talented kid says “I want to study music in college.”

I don’t get it. You raise a kid to have pluck and self-determination, and then when the kid says “I love playing my instrument more than anything, and I want to pursue my passion as a career,” the parent flips out.

Right now is the time of year when parents call me in a frenzy of parental angst about their children’s musical aspirations. They sound panicky on the phone. A child has decided that he or she loves music, and the parent is certain the love of music is going to send an accomplished, self-directed kid straight to Skid Row. They ask me, “Am I dooming my child to a life of poverty if I let him major in music?”

That's from a wonderful new blog post by Liz Ryan, CEO/founder of Human Workplace, and, yes, holder of a vocal performance degree. She calls her post "Let the kid study music, already," and she makes some great points about how the study of music has value that carries over to other disciplines, even if the student doesn't end up doing music full-time after graduation.

I know I mentioned it on this blog before, but a good friend of mine--a tuba-playing mortgage broker--feels that his music education degree is his ace in the hole; the discipline, time management, and multitasking skills, along with other good qualities noted by Ryan in her post, have given him the edge over many of his coworkers over the years who may not have had such a rigorous course of study.

Like any major, music isn't for everyone, but, as Ryan says, studying it doesn't necessarily doom someone to a life of poverty.

Read the whole thing.

KIds Say the Darnedest Things About TMEA, Parts 1 and 2

PART 1: I was reminding a student at the end of a lesson that I wouldn't be there next week because of the big music convention, and his parting words were as follows...

KID: Have a nice trip to San Antonio! Is your wife going with you?
ME: She'd have to exist first.

(He gave me a sad look, so i tried to alleviate his embarrassment by adding, "Maybe I'll meet her down there!")

PART 2: As I was reminding more people that there would be no lessons a few days next week because of TMEA, I explained the whole concept--that it's a big music teachers' convention in San Antonio--to a beginner.

KID: I've been to San Antonio twice! But I still can't spell it.
ME: Oh, I bet you can. S-A-N, space...
KID: A-N-O...
ME: It's just the name Antonio.
KID: A-N-O-T-Y.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Their Heritage

I can't remember what prompted this, but it was funny...

KID: My family's mostly from Asia--the Germany area.
ME: Germany's not in Asia.
KID: OK...they're near Asia.

(College) Kids Say the Darnedest Things About the Role of the Bassist in a Big Band

I forgot to post this one earlier: During a rehearsal last week, the bassist kept dropping out at random times, much to the chagrin of the director, who's also a bass player. Finally, he had to make a strong statement...

DIRECTOR: Bass players never stop playing!
BASSIST: Even when there are rests?

Ten Years Later, We Still Remember

I can't believe that it's been ten years to the day since the Columbia disaster--part of which I witnessed firsthand without knowing what I was seeing at first. One year later, once I had become a blogger, I recounted my recollection of the morning, but I'll repost it here in its entirety as well:

GREENVILLE, TX: The sun rose brightly on the outskirts of town on a crisp Saturday morning. I wasn't usually up this early on a Saturday, now that I was freed of the weekend job I'd had off and on for over a decade. But this was a special weekend: my annual Province Workshop for Sinfonia, where all the chapters get together for a big weekend-long meeting. This year it was being held at Texas A&M-Commerce--a small school in a small town, but one of my stronger chapters.

Seeing as how Commerce wasn't a big place, I didn't want to tax their hospitality by staying with one of the local brothers, so I got a hotel in Greenville, the nearest big town. I had the place to myself, at least on paper, but James (my collegiate representative), Baker (who would be elected this morning to that post for next year), and about four other guys from UNT crashed on my floor that night. No biggie--it's all about the brotherhood.

Since I was running the meetings, I left around 8:00 a.m. to get back to Commerce. I went in the lobby to check out of the hotel; Baker, who was riding up there with me, stayed in the car. When I came out, I was greeted by a loud noise, the likes of which I had never heard before. Baker was outside the car, looking at the noise's source.

A large jet contrail, much bigger than usual, appeared in the morning sky above. It was beautiful...as I watched it, the main stream kept going forward but also split off into equal arcs to the right and left. I wasn't sure, but I thought I was watching an exquisitely-choreographed military training flight. Baker had been in the military before college, so it made sense why he was watching it, but I was equally enraptured.

The only thing was, I was pretty sure that we weren't anywhere close to a military base. That spawned an exchange that neither of us would understand for a while: "I wonder what we're near," I asked. "Armageddon," replied Baker. Even though that didn't make sense, we watched the display until it no longer could be seen, and then we got into the car to head to the meetings.

As the coffee-and-donuts hour drew to a close and we got ready to start the meetings, James pulled me aside for a second. "I thought maybe you might want to make an announcement or something; I just heard on the radio that the space shuttle blew up." Only then did I realize what Baker and I had seen, and our conversation now made sense (he knew it hadn't been a training flight and thought maybe it was an asteroid hurtling toward the earth).

Just like when Challenger had gone down so many years before, the viewing audience had gotten complacent, taking the safe return of NASA missions for granted again. To tell the truth, I had even forgotten that Columbia was still up there, much less that it was scheduled to land today.

Though the meetings continued, the thought of what happened was never far from anyone's mind. On the way home, my radio was glued to the news station. There was a definite pall over the day--that sadness that you feel because of what happened, whether you knew the people or not. Thankfully, other things weren't canceled either; seeing my buddy Lee in Grease proved to be a good escape from reality on this day.

Even a decade later, everything written above is pretty much seared into my mind for good, I'd think. We have not forgotten you, Columbia Seven.

(College) KIds Say the Darnedest Things About Departed Jazz Masters

Yesterday in combo, a question arose regarding which octave the bassist should play in when using a bass clef lead sheet; we decided that the high notes were meant for trombone melody, and the bassist should play roots, as the melody notes were not in the typical bass range in the first place.

ME (to bassist): Or you could just double the melody using harmonics. It'd be really high, but I bet Jaco could do it.
OTHER COMBO MEMBER: No, he couldn't...he's dead.

Kids Continue to Say the Darnedest Things About Musical Terms

This one had to stop after the tempo went astray...

KID (pointing to the word "subito," which means "suddenly"): So "subito" means to speed up, right?
ME: Ha, not at all. How'd you get that? (sounds out syllables) Soo-bee-toh...suh-peed-up. OK, I see how you got that.

JK is Carrying Esbjörn's Torch in Fine Fashion

On New Year's Day, I posted a list of my favorite new jazz CDs of 2012. Despite formidable competition from the likes of Pat Metheny and Kenny Garrett, I gave top honors to a Swedish piano trio that's not particularly well-known, but should be. The group is called the Jacob Karlzon 3, the CD itself is called More, and my favorite tune on the album is the opening track, "Running." It has definite shades of both Metheny and Esbjörn Svensson (Karlzon's late countryman, from whom it could easily be said that he has inherited the title of standard-bearer for the "New Piano Trio" genre).

"Running" was featured in a teaser video promoting the album's release last August, and now there's a full-length video for the song. Enjoy!

Some Great Words from MLK About Jazz

Happy MLK Day! Dr. King was a big jazz fan, and he wrote some program notes for the 1964 Berlin Jazz Festival. He had some great things to say about our wonderful art form. Here's my favorite quote:

Jazz speaks for life. The Blues tell the story of life's difficulties, and if you think for moment, you will realize that they take the hardest realities of life and put them into music, only to come out with some new hope or sense of triumph.

This is triumphant music.

As always, read the whole thing. (Hat tip: Kurt Elling's Facebook page.)

This Blogger Speaks the Truth

Via multiple Facebook friends, I came across this post from a blogger calling herself Facetious Firecracker, entitled What Every Music Teacher Wants You to Know. I'll share a couple of the "money quotes" here:

Without music programs in schools, we risk losing part of our culture for the future. When we examine past cultures, what do we use to judge how civilized they were? Paintings, musical compositions, architecture, tools, language, and clothing. In other words – ART. In fact, we use the fine arts of past cultures to judge how much they knew about our current so-called “core subjects.”

Do you think people in the future are going to look at our standardized test scores to see how well we lived? Of course not. They’re going to study our ability to create ART.

[...]We didn’t go into teaching music because we wanted to get better at math. We want what we do to be valued for its own purpose. We want people to think it’s important to have music in schools, well, just because it is! Imagine your life without music.

Silent commercials and movies, with the exception of dialogue. Awkward silences while shopping. Silent car rides. All in all, pretty boring. We teach music because it’s like painting for your ears. It expresses emotions. It can even change your emotions.

Read the whole thing.

Region Ruminations

No matter how seldom I may blog these days, I always find things to say on the night that I've attended the All-Region Bands concert every January. The region where I teach is known for having strong band programs, and the result is a fine evening of music, even though the kids have had less than 24 hours (last night and most of the school day today) to rehearse the music. And while I've blogged about Region for almost the entire ten years in which this blog has been in existence, the post has been very similar each year, with only minor edits (I somehow neglected to post last year, but 2011's post may be found here), but this year, I seem to have come up with several new ideas. As always, this doesn't pretend to be a review of the concert, just whatever random thoughts popped into my head as I was listening.

• Let's get my own numbers out of the way first: There were eight in all from my studio--five freshmen, a sophomore, a junior and a senior (plus one more junior who plays another instrument but studies jazz saxophone with me). The fact that five out of the nine saxes in the freshman band are my students certainly bodes well for the future, I think.


• This concert is set up to run like clockwork--there is a 45-minute slot allotted to each band, and everything started within a minute of the posted time. While this meant that, for "marathoners" like myself who stayed for the whole thing, there were some fairly substantial lags between bands, it worked out perfectly for the families of the students in the later bands, who may have just been there to hear their own kid's band. But the fact that five bands--one freshman band and four high school bands--can complete a concert in less than four hours, year after year, is indeed impressive.


• Thinking about the above, it occurred to me for the first time that this event really isn't one concert--it's five mini-concerts. There was a more substantial amount of turnover between bands than I recall seeing before, but that may well have made room for everyone, though there were seats to spare during each band. (I've never done the math to figure out whether anyone's auditorium could hold a cumulative audience, but I have my doubts, especially if kids stuck around to watch their friends in later bands.)


• In many ways, this concert hasn't changed much over the years. But here's one way in which it has: During one band, I looked up a few rows to see a parent recording the concert on his iPad. Granted, that's less obtrusive than a big honkin' video camera (a few of which were there as well), but it was funny to watch a small facsimile of the concert in real time on a tiny screen like that.


• One of the conductors programmed his own composition, which he claimed received its final edits on the plane ride to Dallas. I'm trying to remember if we've ever had a composing clinician in this region before; surely we've had Holsinger or Ticheli at one point. (Also, the composing conductor went baton-less for the composition right before his, but picked up the baton for his own piece. Anyone have a big philosophical statement about baton vs. no baton? It's been a while since I've picked one up, of course...)


• What's up with weird lighting things going on at this concert? Two years ago, the dousing of the house lights resulted in the stage lights going off as well...while a band had started to play! This time, the lobby lights went dark for a while; it was funny to watch everyone proceeding cautiously through the hall by cell phone light. Also, the house lights here apparently had no dimmer switch; it went, rather jarringly, from very bright to very dark within a nanosecond.


• I got to thinking about the whole idea of how to set up a band. It was different with every conductor tonight (with the exception, of course, of obvious things like the flutes in front and the percussion in back). Most other musical ensembles--big band, orchestra, chorus) have a fairly standard setup, but the band is subject to not only the whim of the conductor, but perhaps the pieces being played (to possibly create a "stereo" effect of different motifs being passed from section to section).


• I still like the new "wind ensemble" music better than the older "band" music (and I have yet to make my post about how film scoring saved classical music), but there were certainly plenty of composers making great, symphonic music for band before John Williams and his progeny came on the scene. Two of the best of the "old" composers writing in a "new" way--Vittorio Giannini and Ron Nelson--were represented tonight.


• One of my favorites among the "old" works is Ralph Vaughan Williams' "English Folk Song Suite." Both the MC and the conductor who programmed this work pronounced Vaughan Williams' first name as "Rafe"--just as I've heard with the English actor Ralph Fiennes, but never with anyone else. RVW was always just good ol' "Ralph" to us. (Also, if you're familiar with this work, ask me about my programmatic interpretation of the second movement--it's very dark. Also, the first theme in the third movement sounds a lot like "The Twelve Days of Christmas." Gets a chuckle out of me every time...)


• The "theme" in our region has been to get the top two directors from a major university to be the directors for the top two bands. This year, the guys came from Oklahoma State, and they did an outstanding job. While all the bands did well, the top two, being made up mostly of kids who made at least Area if not State, take things to a whole new level. It's hard to believe that they're high school kids who had less than two days of rehearsal to put this together.

Did you really make it through this whole post? Congrats; you're a marathon winner in much the same way as those of us who stayed for the entire concert!
I'm sure I'll be writing a similar post next year. Stay tuned!

Kids Still Say the Darnedest Things About Their Mistakes

Today, one of them just completely fell off the track, rhythm-wise...

ME: Hang on a second--not only did you miss a note, but that sixteenth note section just got really, really fast all of a sudden.
KID: Yeah, I'm not sure what happened there.
ME: It's almost like you stopped controlling the horn, and it took over.
KID: In Soviet Russia, saxophone plays you.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things When They're Making Excuses for Their Mistakes

ME: Hang on--you turned that eighth note into a quarter note. And you also forgot to tongue anything.
KID: That's 'cause it's a Wednesday.
ME: What does that have to do with anything?
KID: I'm just not a Wednesday person.