Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Band in General

Kids say the darnedest things about band in general. I was helping an alto player who was just switched to tenor with his new concert pitch transpositions, and he was having a little trouble...

ME: Just think for a second. You're in school now, so you're supposed to start thinking again.
KID: Yeah, but not in this class!

The New School Year Has Begun, and Kids Are Already Saying the Darnedest Things

Today, a beginner who started with me about a month ago was learning some new low notes...

ME: So if you take the F that you're fingering now and add one more finger, you have...?
KID: An E! just like on recorder!
ME: That's right! And what would you get if you added one more finger?
KID: An H?
ME: No, there's no such note as H. But look what we've been doing: We started with a G, and then we keep going one letter earlier in the alphabet. So what comes before E in the alphabet?
KID: I got it...it's an I.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Bach Compositions

The marching show music for one of my high schools includes a famous one by J.S. Bach, the name of which the kid was trying to remember...

ME: Don't forget, this comes from a famous piece by Bach; you could look it up and listen to it if you want.
KID: Oh yeah I remember--it's called Vodka...no, Veronica...
ME: Toccata...
KID: Right! Toccata and Feud.
ME: Fugue.

(Come to think of it, "Vodka and Feud" might be a good name for a country song.)

More from the Department of Redundancy Department

I passed a truck today that had "FedEx Express" painted on the side. Since FedEx is short for Federal Express, wouldn't that mean this truck was Federal Express Express? (That's almost as good of a redundancy as entering your "PIN number" at an "ATM machine"--especially if you use the cash you receive to pay for the "SAT test.")

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Alternative Modes of Transportation

As the first kid I taught today was going out the door, I noticed that the car which was picking him up was very lengthy...

ME: Wait...is that a limo?
KID: Yup.
ME: Why are you getting picked up in a limo?
KID: We got nothin' else.