Fraternal News Twins

This will be a busy day, so I'll devote one more post exclusively to the news. And today, our stories come in pairs...

Stupid criminals, part 1: A thief should've waited a little longer to celebrate after nabbing a woman's purse, as he was caught in the act of counting the loot by the side of the road, not too far from the scene of the crime.

Stupid criminals, part 2: Meanwhile, a guy who had burglarized a number of vehicles was caught after he left his wallet at the scene of one of the burglaries.

Embarrassment is the best punishment, part 1: A seventh-grade girl who was suspended for bullying another student got suspended for a week...but to add insult to injury, her mother made her stand outside her school carrying a sign that said "Don't be like me. Stop bullying."

Embarrassment is the best punishment, part 2: In a similar incident, a high-schooler who was suspended for roughhousing with a teacher was also made to wear a sign by his mother, and he had to do so while picking up trash by the side of the highway.

Weird animal behavior, part 1: A set of tiger triplets at a Chinese zoo, having been rejected by their mother, are being nursed by a dog instead.

Weird animal behavior, part 2: A young bear walked into a medical clinic in Albuquerque and did in fact get treatment--in the form of a tranquilizer gun.

Bizarre lawsuits, part 1: A pair of Rhode Island plumbers are going at it in court over the phone number 867-5309, made famous in the early '80s song.

Bizarre lawsuits, part 2: A judge in Washington D.C., upset over the fact that a dry cleaners lost his favorite pair of pants, is suing the cleaners for $67 million. Read what the commenters are saying, and check out this key quote:

"People in America are now scared of each other," legal expert Philip Howard told ABC News' Law & Justice Unit. "That's why teachers won't put an arm around a crying child, and doctors order unnecessary tests, and ministers won't meet with parishioners. It's a distrust of justice and it's changing our culture."

I couldn't agree more; I hope this guy loses and gets countersued, and he certainly isn't the type of person we need on the judicial bench.