- The One O'Clock Lab Band's latest Release, Lab 2009, has been nominated for two Grammy awards: Best Large Jazz Ensemble Album and Best Instrumental Composition (for director Steve Wiest's "Ice-Nine"). My own comments on the CD, and the release party held for it earlier in the semester, may be found here.
- And from the athletic department comes the news that Todd Dodge will continue as head football coach of the Mean Green. As I've said before, I'm a big believer in Coach Dodge, and--despite this season's six heartbreaking losses by a touchdown or less--I think he's getting the program on the right track. Seeing as how the Mean Green were among the youngest teams in the conference this year, I predict only good things for the future, and I hope to see him on the sidelines in 2011 when the new stadium opens.
Thursday, December 03, 2009
Great News from Denton
Glad tidings from my alma mater travel in pairs this week:
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I saw this somewhere and thought of you:
Jazz Musicians Helpline:
Welcome to the JAZZ MUSICIANS HELPLINE. Your call is important to us so please use the following menu system to shorten your wait:
If you are a bandleader wishing to know your opinion of yourself, press 1.
If you are a tuba/sousaphoone player in a 'classic' jazz band enquiring which beats you will be expected to play on, press 1 and 3.
If you are a drummer wishing to know on which beats to press your hi-hat pedal, press 2 and 4 - regularly spaced if you can manage it.
If you are a banjo player enquiring about how many strings to buy for a complete re-stringing of your instrument, press 4.
If you are old enough to remember Dave Brubeck, press 5 then 4.
If you are an agent wishing to know how much commission to charge, press 15. Or 20. Or 25. Or whatever number you fancy.
If you want to know the REAL length in minutes of a jazz muso's '15 minute interval' enter any number in excess of 45.
If you are at a cultural crossroads between jazz and rhythm'n'blues and can't decide which Route to take, press 66.
If you are over 60 and always forget to play the coda, press RECALL.
If you wish to express your opinion of what your bandleader makes of gig arrangements, press HASH.
If you are a bebop tenor player press as many keys as fast as you can for 20 minutes or more or until the room is empty, whichever comes first.
If you want to know how much you THINK the bandleader is paying the other sidemen, press SECRET (if you have that facility, if not enter the amount of $ you got for the last gig and add 10.)
If you are a trumpet player trying to discover what it is in the audience that distracts you in between solos, press MAMMARY. Sorry, press MEMORY.
If you are a trombonist and want to know how many beers you can drink and still pass the breath test, deduct 1 from the number of beers you've already drunk and press that number.
If you are a vocalist in a band that always start your numbers too fast or too slow, press any number between 0 and infinity.
If, however, you are generally satisfied with the tempos set by the bandleader, press any number OUTSIDE the range mentioned above.
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