This one was paying me for a couple of lessons...
KID; Here's some lunch money. Go buy yourself a bagel. (Hands me $32.)
ME: That'd be one big bagel...
(This is the same kid who thought I was "rich" after handing me $16 in the spring.)
UPDATE: A friend on Facebook reminded me of this Simpsons episode in a similar vein:
Nelson: Hey, look how much Skinner makes--$25,000 a year!
(the kids sound impressed)
Bart: (typing into a calculator) Let's see, he's 40 years old, times twenty-five grand...whoa, he's a millionaire!
Principal Skinner: I wasn't a principal when I was one!
Milhouse: Plus, in the summer he paints houses.
Milhouse: He's a billionaire!
Principal Skinner: If I were a billionaire, why would I be living with my mother?