The Best G-Weasel Slam in a While

In yesterday's paper, there were some very amusing comments in a review of a Boney James concert:

Saturday night at the Majestic Theater, slightly more than 1,000 fans of smooth jazz assembled to enjoy the dulcet, nonchallenging tones of saxman Boney James.

Saxophonist James 'Boney James' Oppenheim brought his diluted brand of urban jazz to the Majestic Theatre on Saturday night.
Of course, over the last two decades we've all seen jazz diluted into nothing more than shopping-mall-soundtrack fare, and it's no longer even fair to evoke such names as Charles Mingus or Miles Davis when considering popular purveyors of the instrumental twaddle that passes for the idiom these days.

But here's the kicker:

While no Kenny G – an inane buffoon whose tootling repeats itself endlessly within the space of a single songs and often is out of tune – Mr. James and his histrionics were still more possessed of "lite" than the actual light that folks once looked to in jazz.
--Dallas Morning News special contributor Matt Weitz

Matt, I couldn't have said it better myself.

(Incidentally, I normally wouldn't read a review of such a concert, but the headline caught my eye: "Boney James OK if you want ear candy." Heh.)

As I've noted before, there really should be another name for this music that doesn't include the word "jazz," because--unlike any other subgenre--the artists don't tend to mix (save for some occasional collaborations by trumpeter Chris Botti, for some reason). It's too bad the scary religious implications caused the "New Age" label to fade away, but Weit'z "ear candy" might do just as well.

Anyway, I had to share that one with those of you who don't read the paper.

This "snow day" had one missing ingredient--snow: Students at an Ohio school posted a fake announcement on their school district's website saying that school was closed for a snow day; the only problem was that it wasn't even snowing. (The girls face explusion.)

This cat has only eight lives left now: An Indiana cat was found outside in a water trough with its back legs and tail frozen in three inches of ice . The cat is fine, but it may lose the tail.