Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Texas Geography

While exchanging the usual how-was-your-Thanksgiving pleasantries on the way to the practice wing this morning, the following conversation took place:

KID: So did you get to go anywhere?
ME: Yeah, I went to Sugar Land. And that's a real city, not a kids' amusement park.
KID: Oh, I've heard of that. It's on the way to Lubbock, right?
ME: Only if you're really lost.

Cool, Story, Bro...Literally

I found a heartwarming story today while surfing the web: Kids meet as friends and then discover that they're actually brothers.

They Were Targeting Unsuspecting Customers

I own a red polo, and I do all my grocery shopping at Target. Needless to say, I don't wear the former when doing the latter (never mind that the employees wear T-shirts now, not polos). But it's funny to see people pretending to work there and customers falling for it.

Just Enjoyed a Traditional Thanksgiving Dinner...

...of oysters, Belgian waffles, and bacon.

(As well as turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, etc. We are at the neighborhood country club, where those first three items were part of the buffet. I had to try them, just because...)

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Their Instructors

After I did a quick warmup (that was fairly note-y and range-y) upon arrival at my last school of the day, the sixth-grader I was teaching said, "Wow, that's like the Michael Jackson of saxophone!"

No Matter How Bad of a Day You Might Have Had at Work Today...

it likely doesn't compare to this.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Their Holiday Music, and Their Directors Respond in Kind

KID: I don't understand why we're playing sixth-grade music.
DIRECTOR: "Sleigh Ride" is not sixth-grade music, unless your sixth-grade director was an idiot...which is possible.

(After that the director and i were imagining "Sleigh Ride" as played by sixth-graders: I noted how slow it would be if played in whole notes, while he pictured a beginner's attempt to play the "real" version: "OK buddy, more air.")

Kids Respond to the Darnedest Things?

My fellow saxophone teachers will definitely get a kick out of this: At the end of the first page of high school All-Region Étude 1, there's a measure of triplets that are all articulated "tongue one, slur two."
One kid was having trouble with that articulation this entire time, until a weird thought hit me: "Say 'tortilla' four times. Now play the measure while thinking that." The kid nailed it!

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Their Own Abilities

Right off the bat this morning, the first student mis-counted the first note of the first étude we played.

ME: Hang on--you don't want to miss your very first note. How long is that note supposed to be?
KID: Three beats.
ME: And how long did you play it?
KID: Two beats.
ME: And why did you do that?
KID: Because I'm stupid!

(We both had a good laugh over that one...)

Kids Still Say the Darnedest Things About Musical Symbols

Forgot to post this yesterday: A beginner had his first "line" from the book that actually lasted more than a single line in the book; as often happens, he stopped at the end of the first line.

ME: So how do you know you're not done when you get to the end of the first line? What's missing?
KID (points to double bar): Black thing!
ME: What's the black thing called?
KID: Black thing!

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Fashion

Behold the following exchange in the hallway;

GIRL 1: Oh, I love your shirt!
GIRL 2: Me too! I love it!
GIRL 3 (the wearer of said shirt): This? I hate this shirt!
(...a brief pause while some figures out the obvious follow-up...)
GIRL 2: So why are you wearing it?

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Their Own Clumsiness

This morning, I had a bari player whack the doorway with his horn on his way into the practice room, followed shortly thereafter by his chair, and then me (in the funnybone--what a misnomer!). After I yowled a bit, we had the following exchange:

ME; A little clumsy today, you say?
KID: Well, at least it wasn't a tuba!

Bandmates Say the Darnedest Things

My friends at the University of Mary Hardin-Baylor will get a kick out of this one: Yesterday morning between church services, I was talking with another member of the worship band about why I was out of town the previous two Sundays...

ME: And this past Sunday, I helped put on a concert in Belton.
BANDMATE: Belton? Is that even in Texas?

You Know It's Going To Be An Unusual Day...

...when you ask the first student of the day to play a scale, and he offers up C# Locrian. (This student has not yet studied the modes, mind you; he just decided it would be a good idea to put two sharps in his C major scale, one of them being the root.)

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Hard Key Signatures

Yet another freshman was lamenting the Ferling étude in five flats that's part of this year's all-state music, and I reminded him that the reason it was in Db and not C# was because Ferling was an oboist, and they like flats a lot more than we do.

KID: I think I'm somewhat racist against flats.
ME: That's a prejudice that is perfectly OK to have.
KID: Or would that be "notist"?
ME: Accidentalist? Keyist?

These Guys Were Unified, To Say the Least

Ever since the announcement of Pat Metheny's latest project, the Unity Band (with saxophonist Chris Potter, bassist Ben Williams, and longtime Metheny sideman Antonio Sanchez on drums), expectations have run high. The release of the group's debut recording this summer certainly lived up to expectations, but the true icing on the cake would be seeing the band in live performance, and those of us in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area had that opportunity last night at the House of Blues.

I hadn't gotten to see Pat live since March of '08, when even a late snowfall couldn't keep me from making it to Bass Hall in Ft. Worth to catch his newest trio (featuring bassist Christian McBride and Sanchez on drums). As I wrote then,

When Pat Metheny plays his hollow-body guitar, it's as if all is right with the world. His sound is immediately recognizable, and it projects a warmth and optimism like no other (as I've said before, it's reflective of his Midwest upbringing--like a drive through the country on a perfect Sunday afternoon).

And just like last time, the show started with Pat alone onstage, playing his unusual 42-string Pikasso guitar (and getting all kinds of cool sounds from same). As the rest of the guys entered the stage, the unusual four-necked instrument was also used on the opener, "Come and See." The show was off and running, and from that point, we were in for two hours of wonderful music.

As might be expected from a band with a single recording under its belt, the vast majority of tunes came from that album...but as might be expected at a Metheny show, the man has a vast back catalog, and he's not shy about rearranging things from Pat Metheny Group records, his solo work, or even collaboration with other artists in new and interesting ways. So it almost wasn't a surprise when, around halfway through the show, the band broke out with the classic tune "James," from 1982's Offramp. Though originally recorded with a piano and no saxophone, it sounded fresh and completely natural in this new version.

One personal highlight of the night was when some large cabinets in the back, virtually unnoticeable if one wasn't looking for them, were unveiled, revealing them to be a small part of the Orchestrion that was used on the 2010 album and tour of the same name--one of the few times I've had to miss him on tour. It was very enjoyable getting to see this thing in action; as I said, it was a scaled-down version of the instrument (which uses Pat's guitar to trigger various keyboard sounds and percussion instruments), but it was amazing to watch it in action (and I really liked the flashing lights that went off whenever a certain instrument made a sound). While one piece on the new CD utilized the orchestrion, it was a pleasant surprise to see it at this show.

Another highlight would follow, as Pat took the time to play duets with each of his bandmates. For Potter, it was Miles Davis' "Solar" with both of them soloing at breakneck speed. Williams joined the guitarist for a lively rendition of Ornette Coleman's "Turnaround," and I'm not sure of the title of the duet with Sanchez--who's always tasty and very fun to watch--but it was definitely fast and furious.

The main portion of the concert ended with the foursome's one recorded tune that was worthy of doing so--the album's closer, "Breakdealer." But pretty much everyone in attendance knew that the show wasn't done. I was trying to figure out what in the back catalog might serve as an encore; "The First Circle" was out, but I wondered if something even older like "Are You Going With Me?" was in the cards.  Sure enough, they fired up the orchestrion and had at it, with Potter getting a nice turn on alto flute.

Still, the audience clamored for more, and Pat happily obliged, returning to the stage for a solo acoustic number. As the beginning lines of "Phase Dance" from the PMG's debut album started to ring out, I was happy...even as it started to morph into a not-6/8 version of "Minuano." He gave us a few more tunes in that manner--the closest he'll ever come to a "greatest hits' medley," no doubt--and concluded the show to raucous applause.

My only quibble all evening was that Chris Potter was so low in the mix--in marked contrast to the recording, where he's quite up front. I've heard that the same thing happened in Austin the night before, so it wasn't just a "the rock guys at House of Blues don't know how to mic a jazz band" thing. Still, even that couldn't mar a stellar performance by four amazing musicians--all leaders in their own right (even relative newcomer Williams released his Concord Jazz debut in 2011)--who came together as one during a most memorable evening. I can't wait for the sequel...

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Adult Privileges

One of my eighth graders was "redshirted" by his parents when he started school, and he lamented the fact that he was old enough to be in high school now, but was stuck in middle school, where it was "boring." I tried to get him to look at the bright side...

ME: But just think of all the things you'll be able to do all year as an 18-year-old senior that most other kids can't do: Vote, buy lottery tickets...
KID: Ride the flying pig!
ME: Wait, what--there's a flying pig somewhere?
KID: Mm-hmm.
ME: And you have to be 18 to ride it?
KID: Yup.

Big Kids Say the Darnedest Things

One of my college students is a senior citizen, and this week at his lesson. we were reviewing chord/scale relationships...
ME: So the first chord of this tune is E minor 7. Which mode goes with that chord?
BIG KID: Dorian.
ME: And how does Dorian work?
BIG KID: Pretty good!

(We both had a good laugh over that one...)

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Famous Composers

A quick discussion took place this morning about how music used to be written in manuscript, and how a lot of it was rather messy...

ME: I don't know if you've ever seen a picture of a Beethoven manuscript, but they're amazingly sloppy.
KID: Well, yeah, but wasn't he blind?
ME: No, he was deaf.
KID: Oh, I thought he was born blind and deaf.
ME: You might be confusing him with Helen Keller. But Beethoven had cooler hair.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things About Musical Accidentals

Now that Region Jazz tryouts are over, the kids who aren't taping for State get to dive into the concert All-Region music, so the subject of the double sharp comes up again...

ME: So what does a sharp do to a note...and I want a better answer than "makes it sharper."
KID: Crap! That's what I was gonna say.
ME: You can give me a better answer than that. A sharp makes a note...
KID: Higher?
ME: Right. By how much?
KID: Twenty cents!